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Accidental Parenting
Accidental Parenting

Episode · 10 months ago

S02E13: The Awesome Factory

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Aubrey and Col interview Erik and Emily Orton of The Awesome Factory. They discuss living in NYC with five kids, their family band, sailing adventures as described in the book Seven at Sea, and the double return parenting philosophy. Learn more about Erik, Emily, and The Awesome Factory at http://theawesomefactory.nyc 

Welcome back to another episode ofaccidental parenting today, Aubrey and I are very thrilled and honored to havea special set of guests, we'd like to introduce you to the awesome factory.This is Eric and Emily Orton. Now before you guys say anything, we aregoing to make some assumptions about you and you tell us if we're right ifwe're wrong, if we're close hot cold anywhere in between. So I'm going toguess where you both grew up Eric, I'm going to assume that you grew up inNorth Carolina and Emily I'm going to assume Rino Nevada. That was my guess.Renon about Itno, no surprise that you're wrong on both counts, a not mostpeople, most most of the time there wrong. We both moved to northernVirginia An. We were about ten and kind of consider that our growing up space, so we had dads in the military, so justboth of us yeah DC area, the DC I lived in Germany before then, and she livedin Utah, so, okay, many after then exacty nice and with that leads this toour next question is where you first met. I and obbry help me come up withHus and we think that you both met, as you were volunteering at a soup kitchen. This Isi, like that o now that Yeahnthat there's a long running debate about theanswer to this question, so we must have run into each other when we wereabout ten years old, but we didn't speak for the first time until afreshman year of college at an ice cream, social and okay. We were notimpressed with each other, but we got over that and we still love ice creamand each other, but it wasn't an ice cream social for the homeless, becauseif so, then we ere, so we wuld, I than Isin, really really close, all right, very good. Ohlast question high school mascus did you, you did not go to the same highschool. No, I went to rival high school rival, high schools, okay, this mightmake me change M. my guessis here Eric I'm going to say your mascot was theWolverine and emily the Falcon. Oh, I like that TSE would have been way.Cooin I went to. I went to do high schools and one of mine was a hack, so I think Imight okay give you that ones. People cone tell the difference, count it yeah. I know I saw a bird of pray thismorning and I couldn't tell you the difference actually either and ourother. My other mascot for my first high school was the Spartan morer and Iwas my high school man. Mascot was thelancer a Lee Lancer. I guess I aa medieval night or something basicallylik like a little dude on a horse with a big long guy right in the horse. YeahCabe, both times, I think, is high school got renamed this year. So yes,then exitio anymore history, the way that had the whole high school or justthe mascotjust, the whole high school whole high school. Okay. I don't knowwhat the new mascot is interesting: okay, yeah so really far off, but wewere. We had a god. We get half yeah I was we were that I wish it waswolverine. The orpartial credit is relevant in this yeah. You guysdefinitely earn points Nice, Nice, so the Ortans we first met the Ordans whenAubr and I lived in New York City. They lived in pretty much the same communityas us. We got to know them a little bit here and there in the two years that wewere there and with that I will let you both give. U A formal introduction toyourselves awesome. Well, yeah we've been in NewYork now for twenty one years so feel like lifers. For the most part, we came because Ericwas pursuing a career in the Broadway industry and did that for about tenyears- and I was a a school teacher, but I turnedto a staye at home. Mom then turned to a stayeat home school teacher as westarted home schooling, our kids after you know, they've been in school for awhile. Do you want to pick up for for you from there? Well, no just that thatI mean we have. We have five kids and we we live. We lived in the sameapartment the whole time, the same place where you met us, so we're in atwo bedroom apartment yeah- and I guess a little bit about us and we'llprobably get into this a little bit more is hand before you go one. The kid thefive kids are four girls and a boy yeah. That's right, O right. He lies the boyTan. Now he just turned fifteen, so I remember that', yeah, good memr and then so ouryoungest is thirteen and she has down...

Syndrom, and our oldest is twenty threeand for Covid in celebration of the pandemic everybody's home. So incelebration, othe NA good way to look at it, what a great party and not to spoil anything that may come uplater in the interview, but you guys recently had an event streaming fromyour home. This last Friday, night fo living ro yeah, which wouldn't havebeen nearly as much fun without everybody there, because we have afamily band and it those older kids are the ones who really pull their weightin the instrument category. That's really yeah, really yeah. We had a goodtime. We have good memories of playing music with you, yeah, that's right. Wecame over and we played, I think, on of our RAA couple, maybe a couple but yeah.No, we was that our first one we still sing your thankful for yourthankfulness tink thankful for Yoars. I'm thankful that you have textmessaging, so I can hur yeah. I know yeah, I love. I can startMont O week. That's Te! He I remember you guys, O W. I think one of yourdaughters had just written a song about John of Ark, which was great. Yes, thatwas a good ones right his and they performed it that night. It was great.So your your kids play a lot of instruments. You both are very musical.You've got a family band. How many instruments collectively is a family?Do you play wow? It's easy for me because I'musually just on ancelary emily kills cyssione kills it on the Tamborin. Icannot even play on the offbeat. You know yeah. I usually am a backup vocalist and aegg Shaker over here. Okay me and me and Lily, keep each other inline andthen the rest of them honestly. The mostembarrassing thing of two thousand and twenty is that I was supposed to make something with a Kazoo and I forgot howto play the Kazoo. It took me like ten minutes and it was like. I was okay because I'm humbleabout that, but my kids were really embarrassed or they play all MHEOstermut Yeah Ou have m into this forgot o home. I was like trying to estwh I whistle yeah. Exactly so,that's that's how well I play, but they let me join in, but you guys, like, Ifeel, like our apartment, is overrun with instrument. It's a little bit of amess right now. We've got a full sized drum kid in the living room. A we'vegot, I want to say six guitars, three orfour Ucaleles Amandolin a violin, a piano cordion Acoian was GOINGTO, sayno. I've heard that yeah, the according didn't show up in the in the livestream.Unfortunately, that was like a atin switch and t e we've got. You know alllike a couple of tamborines and egg shakers and other you know, pennywhistle, fun stuff like that, but you know so so and yeah. So I think thekids play yeah. We have people who play all of those instruments, yeah morethan one person plazeing in a two bedroom apartment in New York City. Howdo your neighbors feel about all the instruments they love? It rd constantly send us. Thank you, notesand leave us treats at the door and kind of a broom stick on the ceiling.Broomstiak actually does happen and it happens like the oddest times like I'll,set down a hand, waight gently and then I'll heare Boby, bye byby. Are youswory, like jamming, you know and nothing not. I Hear Anything Fun E. Iactually pride us on being very respectful. We never playd past teno'clock yeah they don't. We ever start before ten o'clock and so and if we dolet so e Ns and we never go really loud for too long so and I think our nextdoor neighbor is going deaf because she keeps saying like I'm. Not, Oh, youguys are home. I didn't hear you so, Oh, I don't think it's us because we arebeing loud. So I think I need to Snell Erits time for a visit to the time toget that hearing Chan. Yeah. No, do you do you know your downstairs: NeighborsYeah, yeah, okay, yeah! That helps I mean. Maybe Yeah Wev been her longenough that we know all of our neighborads. I guess that's a goodpoint. That's a good and so yeah. We have a good relationship with everybodyin every direction across the hall next door upstairs downstairs so yeah yeah,and even if we're calling the police on them and the night when we see eachother in the elevator, it's all smiles and how are you so sure yworthat's,good okay, so it's sent for an awkward personal question. N. I have selectedone question for you both to answer. I would love to hear your guilty pleasure.Food. Okay. Mine is weird now because I gave up sugar like a year and a half ago, and so nowit's like sour cream with frozen berries and a little Stevia. It's kindof like a cheesecake almost like a year. I know it's weird, that's why it's kindof Yeah I love to eat this. I just otally. Do I cream, but he sour creammakes it more like cheesecake, okay, I...

...know that's an interesting choice. It'sjust an Erty. It looks really good. I've got to try. You II have tried t,okay, yeah. I have not given up sugar, okay,but I would say that my my guilty pleasure food is honestly deritos. Justbecause I know that they're super junky yeah, I could eat a whole bag of anysize of any size in one sitting. If, if I just let myself go and every now andthen I do what's your favor of choice, oit's a pretty good tossa between ranch- and I guess, what's the regularthat just no Cil re ran hedder, I think just Cheddar is Notcho. It's like no.It's like cool, Rado, NOTC, tin, INA call not show yeah, I think betweenNODG, basically red and yellow yeah red, because they're not really fla on here,just like spray, yeah yeah just powder. I remember my mymistry class in highschool, our chemistry teacher Lit derito on fire to show us how much boilit was in it or whatever Li up so fast, yeah tchang my mind: Aming toredoallyAllis. Let's get io some more questions about you and your family. You havebeen in New York City for twenty one years. You've got five kids that you'veraised in New York City. This is quite the feat aubre and I, when we werethere, we had two kids. By the way we have four kids. Now it's been a while,since we've CONNECTD EDSO we've got fourteen year old, addy we've gottwelve year old, penelope and the twins will and Georgia are six and a half weafter two years of being in New York City, I couldn't handle it with kids in thecity. What what's your Souchour Cigrete? How have you been able to successivelysuccessfully survived the city for so long with all the kids? We leave a lot. You do that's true whatwe have done in the last five years, but when they're all little and all athome, all the time having the park like going to the park,often a lot of times the kitchen became kind of like our indoor playground,because we live in New York City. I could not say to small children go outaside and play by yourself or meet up with your friends, so they would always need my supervisionand odd. As it sounds. You know, I don't really think it's good for kidsto have constant supervision. You know so the a place where they could be lesssupervised would be in in our kitchen at first. That meant a lot of, likequote: Unquote, wasted ingredients and oceans and like weird things like that,but the end result is that all of them can cook. Now they and now they alltake a take a turn. You know every night of the week someone else had toembrace the mess yeah. It really is an exercising futility. They yeah it'sgoing to be on the floor. It's yeah it. It was tough, but around between tenand twelve, for each of them somewhere in that zone, they would turn a cornerand become really independent and actually really helpful, but thosefirst ten years are just a lot of like rolling your eyesand just trying to be polite. I guess theyeah. There was definitely some groaning that I' be like. Oh my gosh.With that salad on the floor, a lot of people might be thinking. Oh Yeah, theyou know the kids go to the park they play in the kitchen, but they're alsogoing to school every day. So you guys are getting a break from your kids, atleast when we knew you, you were homeschooling, so there was no schoolbreak, send the kids off for you guys to get peace and quiet or do whateveryou need to do. Are you still homeschooling the younger kids yeah? Westarted in two thousand and seven and we have kept on so strong. It is likethat, and so for that to work we just had to embrace it as lifestyle oflearning, and so it can fit in different nooks and crannies. In thebeginning, or the ends of the day, but you're right there, as not like a hey now, were, I doubt, there's afamily that spends more hours in the day together than us. Well,maybe now you stopd yourself, you stopped yourself from saying qualitytime s all quality co, Farygd ter we goode,because I mean I think the average family that has five children.Listening to this, who doesn't live in New York, will be shocked that you livein a two bedroom apartment because they're like oh I'm, okay with my fivekids, because I couldn't have them in a different part of the house, and Idon't see them if if they are all home right but to be in two bedroom, that'sa phole other animal yeah yeah. It actually has. I don't know ifyou there's like cute little quotes about the tiny house and how love growsbest in a tiny house. I don't know if that's totally true, we just embrace itbecause that's our situation, but you start to develop a real sensitivity anda tolerance for like when you see that...

...a family member is becoming tense orneeds a little space or a little encouragement, and also just you have to build up thattolerance, for you know we're sharing the hallwaythere's one bathroom, there's just one bathroom and yeah, and I will just haveto wer like make that work. You know it's the opaque shower curtin andthat's the secret right there, but everybody everybody has a set ofheadphones. You know it used to be that you could say like well, I'm going tothe library or you know somewhere else, but it's in Covid, it's been just there.It's been a real challenge to be kind of, like everyone always mbut on theflip side. Of that I will say that also because of Covid, a lot of people haveleft the city for a short time or decided to then maybe leave permanently, and we had someone offer to have ouradult kids stay at their two bedroom apartments. The building. Next door, Ohthat they were gone for for four months and said like we don't we needed anextra bed for one of our kids and they like. We don't have a bed, but youcould take our whole apartment and they could stay there for no charge. If youwant beautiful and none of our kids did it. Oh that'samazing! I thought did I did not. I see that coming out ECASE. I did not seethat coming either. They just said like well, you know it's bedtime when we'reall they Wen e, all in the same room and we're all in our little bunk andthat's when we talk and that's when we connect and if I'm going to stay atsome other apartment, then I'm going to miss the best for and so yeah, so theymight go over there. Omo Yeah go over there during the day, make a littlemovie or do a project. I would go over there to write and but, like only once or twice, didanybody sleep over there the whole time, so they must. They must like enjoy it.They're happy yeah, THAT'S AMAZING! So I recall towhen we lived there, you were just getting into every. I think you weretaking sailing lessons right and maybe you whad always been fascinated withsailing or doing it for a while, but I do remember there were weekends thatyou would go out and just practice sailing and that started what wouldthen become a big piece of your life. A few years ago, when you took the familyon a sailing trip, tell us a little bit about sailing and what that turned intofor you yeah sure I mean we started sailing in two thousand n eight. Doesthat Jib Wanor Your Timelik? That's the right timeline! Yeah Yeah! We tooksagning lessons downtown in New York harbor around the Statue of Liberty and I R I was the one that was really mostinterested in it. I was, I just needed a little something to help get myselfout of a funk and had always been excited about sailing and emilyencouraged me to take this class. I mean you, I don't you've been excitedabout sailing, but you'd. Never I never, but I knew nothing about it. I mean Iwas in e e Mides, I guess, and had never been on a sail boat. I justthought it was beautiful, and so, when I finally realized there was a sailingschool downstairs from where I worked, because I would watch all these boatson the Hudson and I didn't know where they came from and iactually rise. Ohthey came from right downstairs. Emily said you should check it out, andso I did and I wanted to do a class, but I couldn't get anybody to do itwith me, and so I recruited emily and our two oldestgirls, who were nine and eleven at the time. Yeah and you know that's how we startedsailing and then from there we. It was a rough start. We did not. We all got seasick we all. When westarted sailing on our own. It was. We were a hot mess, dropping things in thewater and running into stuff, and I just wanted it to end. I just kept likeat what point is he going to say like well? This is enough. I get it likelittle IIS grangs that itch you know like, because because I was scared ofdeep water and I had been like for my whole life since I was fourand I I just wanted it to be over, so that wecould stay out of the water and it didn't end. I Didnot GN, the kids, thekids loved it and we did after that, first sailing as afamily, we did take kind of a two year. breakwere irk would just kind of go outwith friends on weekends, because that was how we could afford it. Yeahfrankly, yeah and know yeah, W IWOULD, think friends would chip in for thecost of the boat, and I would drive ind sale yeah. You go yeah, come n right onthe boat Wel yeah. After a couple years, he got he felt more experienced as acaptain. He was able to kind of know an advance. So this is what I'm going toask for and give good instruction, because when we went out as a family,it was like Erthin. No, that other thing now he'smad pull that rope yeah. It was, it was...

...really it was. It was a hard time for US weet,and I didn't always use my inside Boyce, now e Yeah, Oyou n Sa a use, my sailingboys, yeah, and so after that he kind of said would benice if we could do this spending time as a family, and we found this place inNeuro Shel, where we could join first like it was just over. I think ahundred bucks a month and we could sail as much as we wanted on these littleboats. So we started taking the kids out three or four times a month, Ericwork during the day I mean he worked from home during the day he worked awayfrom home at night and that since we were home schooling, we're like well,this will be our pe. You Know Sali Yeah and- and we just love that time, like noneof our cellphones, worked out there and we just kind of tack back and forth fora couple of hours and then every now and again enough to keep it interestingto the kids. We would stop at Cosco for a hotdug on the way home, so they justnever knew Iroltecou Wa rdice for them yeah. That's like the world's greatest kidssurprise: lunch cost cohog dogs a buck. Fifty, that's all it takes and you gotta yeah my favorite surprise. It's so nice yeah, it's perfect and we figuredout this thing fo for Lily, she's always liked to run away, but we eric would have herput. This is just a pro tip for parents. He would have her put sit at thatlittle picnic table and put one leg on one side of a pole in one leg on theother side and then tie her shoelaces together so that she could not leavethat table while we're sitting there and then, when We'ere, ready to go,would untie her shoes and that's that's amazing- got about tarenting howthere.You Go, there's a parent inha that Wasa good one. So anyway, what it led to is. Westarted watching these youtube videos of families that lived on sal boats andit was kind of like our reality TV he pretty harmless. You would think untilone day Eric said, I think the seven of us on a sailboat would be enoughuniverse for me and I try to have a rule of tumbalthough. Idon't always stick to it as you will attest, but I try not to justimmediately jump to all of the reasons. That's a bad idea. Sure I trid to likeokay Juin, an idea t so tapl you're excited if it's a bad idea. It'll runits course. You know let, but I can be the good guy by just drawing out more questions, so I saidwell. When would you want to go and Er kind of Said? You know before ourkids start leaving for college which for us at that pointment in the nextfour years we would geed to get on a sale boat. If that was going to happen,that's that's the big moment right. I see all these families and I had acousin who was Taugh. I was talking to o one summer and and every summer theywould go rent a big, huge, Expensive Beach House in Newport Beach, which isway too much money that I could ever afford, and I was talking to he aboutit. He says: Look My kids, my oldest is sixteen. Seventeen I've only got threeyears of this at Max, like I've got to take advantage of this time. Make thesememories. So I think it's really cool that you guys saw that you had theForesidt to say: Look, we've only got four years to do this. Let's just getit done now and create these memories that will last a lifetime. We never eewhile his dreams, imagine that they would all be back home in their dwinsand then oit. They choose to stay at your place. Verotreams Hav come trueyeah honestly, I think you're really rightabout that perspective, and when we had just tydlers and babies. I saw mysisterinlaw had done this thing. She had put up a on her fridge like a bunchof squares that each represented a year of her life, and I don't know hers,went up to like ninety or something and and then she had highlighted the yearsin which her kids would be home with her full time and when they wouldprobably be in school part time and when they would be leaving, and it wasso genius to me because you see how it's not going to last forever. You canlike breathe through this day, but you also see like oh my gosh. This isprecious and every year I have one year less with my child right, and so we hadalways been keeping a card like that and periodically would say like oh inin five years. These are the ages that will all be, and we just kind of likeproject forward, and so we were very much in that mindset of being like ourkids were at the stairstep ages. At that time each one was ahead shorterthan you know the next, and we saw the time moving so fast and we felt that that was part of how wedecided to go as we're supposed to tell a story abouthow miserable we were. And so then we made this transformation, but I wasactually pretty content with our...

...community and our family and our rhythm, and we were coming from a place for me-was a place of strength, but we felt like there might be something deeperthat we could do, maybe something I had this idea that if the memorieswould be unique, then they would stand out from each other, and that would bekind of the way that we could stretch time. And if we did this, then the kidswould get to have their dad around a hundred percent of the time, and I felt like only good things would comefrom having his influence around them constantly, and I mean I was the worst sailor in our family, but there were seven of us so so this thisexperience ended up with you on on a sal boat. For a year, you lived anentire year, was it entire calendar year eleven months? Most of it wascloser to ten months and actually we're coming up on our anniversary. In fact,February eighth is when we celebrate what we call Fezzywig Day, becausethat's des Wa, the name of our boat and so we're only what like two weeks out,yeah and yeah. That was the day that we moved aboard and then we sailed throughit wasn't until October of that year that we werewe sailed from St Martinand the Caribbean back to Manhattan, and we actually docked the boat at theend of Dikmen Street, which you guys know Yep. It's just a few blocks fromhere and we were able to walk home and that that moment, and just everythingthat came, I don't mean to glass over it all but youknow to just to kind of like walk out your door atthe beginning of the year, find your way to the Caribbean and then to comeback at five miles per hour for Mi ime homeall the way at five miles an hour and then to tie the boat off at the dock,which didn't even exist when we left the dock was built. While we were Awayothe marina just for you to, we knew it was coming. We never hopingwe could end there yeah yeah and then just to walk home and unlock your doorand come back in and it was just pretty. It was pretty magical. That's that's!Pretty Amazing and you've written a bout book about the experience not tospoil anything that happens in the book or at the end T at Ha. I mean wesurvive. That's you Surviv Im seing, because yeah there was storms and therewas SOM jok in there was some like privacy issues and IA relationships, but rememberfollowing along on your blog as you were as youre going through this right.I remember like the Wifi issues that you had like, yet my I remember allthat stuff right, no just coming to my mind right now, but we loved it bycarry Li Licerious Lif, it's a really cool thing and ye never time my wife, Irouder one of my great moments: Yeah Yeah that was supposed to be like atour primary school connection. Right. We were going to get these things offthe Internet for math and whatever and at a certain point I just had to say tothe kids, because t was KORENA's junor year. That's like test year. That'slike Cram Yer and I just said look. You are going to learn a lot of things onthis sailing trip that are not going to be on the SAT, yeah yeah, but I thinkthey'll help you in life and she did have a really good essay. Nice Yeah Bat.So you mentioned something earlier in our conversation about how you survivethe city. You leaving a lot this, this adventure sailing on a boat for a year.Wasn't the only adventure you guys have and that's what I live about thestories it's ongoing right. You take the kids and I think if, if I'm doing,the math right was the last no, it was either Europe or New Zealand. You HAV yeah. How long did you spend in NewZealand tell us about that? We were there a hundred days and but itwas suppesed to be shorter right. I feel like it was supposed to be a shorttrip and then it extended and can well well. We did get a one way ticket andtheir Max cayis. Ninety days, okay, yeah. We will, I think, what I meanjust backtrackinto the book for a second, when we we lived on the boatfor a year, and then we wrote our book seven at C and that in writing thatbook seven at c. It really helped us realize, await there's kind of a systemthat we've developed for ourselves that we thatwe've followed to make this happen, and once we realized, Oh there's a systemor a framework, and then we started to use it over and over and over again inour own lives, and that meant you know that led us to big multimonth roadtrips around the US and Canada and housesitting in Hawaii twice, and wethen went to Europe and vandaround and sailed around for five, the better partof five months. I think, and and so just applying this system. It, I think,ar skipping the part where he like loses forty pounds and climbs out ket,but that was bers that to Thesistemi...

...yeah I mean th. The system that we kindof like applies to a lot of different things and yes, yeah getting in shapeand climbing out capitan was was part of it, but I think going back toYosemite. We we ended up. We were in Hawaii Housesitting and some of our dear friends live in NewZealand and av been wanting us to go for ages, and we just been talking with some peoplethat had lived there and they were talking about how wonderful it was andhow easy it was, and we just on a whim. Literally. I just like. I just checkedthe price of flights, and I was stunned. They were so Dang, cheap, so cheap, andso we just bought one way flights and got there and we were going to staywith friends and then we said, maybe we can find some house sitting gigs there,because we were housing in Hawaii Yeph and we ended up finding three kind of farm yeah. They were ended upbeing farmsits where we looked after people's farm anals, and then we alsofound a guy who ol other experience. Ight, you go from macacki in Van Sailing New York City toall right, we're on a farm, yeah thet last fun yeah, the first farm was likeI mean I guess they were all sort of hobby farms, instead of like hey we'retrying to earn our living off this farm, but the first farm had like a dozenanimals. You know a gold Caso jog horses and it like eight sheep and fivechickens, that's and then the last Ge. Now we don't evenown a dog or agains, that's more aaty than you have in New York, city, yeah,ane apartment and we've never owned a pet wut. Wejust said you know we'll take care of kids and then, if they want pets, theycan take care of other people's tets yeah. That's that's! Anyway. Elegy welive by Thi, O so by the last farm by the last farm. I think we were takingcare of like over a hundred animals. We had like twelve dogs and thirty head ofcattle and ten horses, and just like donkeys and cats and a pigand like we had to get around on a ATV which was so great because our kidsleane to drive ATV. The youngest kids like I was like I don't know if lilywas down, synder will ever get a driver's license, but she can drivenatv Yeh that'sa and we had you know we had some really uniqueexperiences there, where we had like six cows born while we were there andwe had one cow that needed to be shot yeah put down. I guess you. We had a areal farmer next door, who was kind of guiding those decisions yeah, but we learned a ton.We learned a ton and we experience so much in our kids. Did imagine you knowso we did post a video. I think on my youtube channel, one of them just oflike live cow being poik here, not that everybody wants to see that. But it wasincredible to watch that Yohyeah, those those are learning experiences and it's great to see that you're,providing your kids with this opportunity, not just but to bondtogether but to grow and learn and develop a whole new set of skills thatthey may or may not use in the future. But they've got experience with it.THAT'S PRETTY GROT YEAH! So many great conversations I mean with the cow. Wehad a some, so some like fortnight conversations about what happens withyou know shooting on fortnight, and what was this experience like? Shootinga cow and not he didn't shoot it, but like he was there, he was there o erson Yeah Yeah. He was offered the opportunity to be the one who shot thecow and he was like. No thank you, yeah pretty amazing. So when you were in NewZealand, I'm maybe I feel like a psychic right now. I'm feeling thatthere's a there's something going on with the strong M word: No music in New Zealand. Did you guysperform in New Zealand as well yeah? Actually, some of our good friends. You guys knowthe wards right. You know the wards yeah so yeah when Wewere Wer, we landedand stayed with them and we have always kind of played music with them. I guessas well, and so they knew were coming and there was going to be a fundraiserat it was a fundraiser for the library. It was like a twenty four hour booksale. It was like nerd heaven. It was perfect for US yeah, and so they weredoing. Basically s like you could Boka Slot, and so I think it was the dayafter we arrived. They booked us into a slot where we would play a thirtyminute set, and- and so we just showed up- and I thinkwe rehearsed like one night anyway- we went and we played a thirty minute setwith you, some other friend like we all just piled in, and we played it at thisbig huge theater in the metropolis of Denidan NEWZEA. That's an we. I think we did like alive music night and and our daughter, Sarah Jane, who was seventeenat the time, actually went. She formed a little band with some other teenagersand they went into Queenstown and busked from for, like ice cream money,so amazing the confidence that that's...

...got, to give your kids to be able to dothat. An and just have fun with it is pretty epic yeah. I think we set the tone for that,because when we were in Italy, staying with some of our sailing friends, theparents of those that family had to come back to the US, and so we watchedtheir kids for two weeks and Ar Rike. Okay, we're Goin ta band practice everynight who wants to be in the band and when we get to Rome we're going to gobusking and Rome and whatever money we wake. Whatever money we make we'regoing to spend it on Gelato, yeah or Fan. That's WHATAE, sad samision, yeahgarage band is a really good babysitter and a really good way to get ice creamor GELATA. Yes, yeah yeah. So no it turned out great just because, insteadof just like galking at everything, we got to like become part of the givingof what was happening and y. In those places, so that was cool, but Iactually think you don't know this yet because wehaven't told anybody, but we've been talking about a parenting philosophy that we have andEric recently gave it a name. So I think it speaks to this like theconfidence that it does give our kids I'm Justn, UA turng it over meyeah, okay, so yeah we call it double return, parenting, okay and- and theidea is that I think every parent wants to givetheir kids the best life they can. You know we allwant the best for our kids and what we've learned is that, when, as aparent, rather than trying to always kind oflike ce them up and tee them up for success, if we just go for the thingsthat we want in life and if we strive for our own dreams, we get a doublereturn. The first return is that we, as parents get to live our best life we get to live. We youknow pursuing the things that really matter to us, the things that we enjoy,because I think a lot of times as parents. We think it's just a grindlike we don't you know, I'm just going to go to work and earn money and y makesure that the house gets vacuumed and in the toylet gets cleaned. You knowthings like that, and so the idea is that we tr, you know we as adults getto set the example of what adulthood looks like and if we're out therepursuing our dreams, trying to make the things happen that we really care about.We actually are modeling and showing our kids what it looks like for them todo the same, and it actually is the best thing for them so that they feelthe confidence and they see the process of what it means to go after somethingthat there will be failures, that there will be sotbacks that you have to havegrit and Mentoris, and you know, and so watching your I think watching yourparents go through. That process helps you andthat becomes. The double return. Is that your kids, I think, get to stepinto things that they might not have chosen for themselves. Otherwise they,instead of what we call the conveyorbelt life or sort of the pathof great ousecurity they're, actually going for the things that's going tothe things that are going to mean the most of them and then hit can justcascade generation after generation, so it can be double parent or doubledoubleeabut. It can just ripple on down. I can do so many, so many benefits tothat, because then you never get stuck in that situation, where you feel likeyou're, giving up something for your kids and your kids sense that and theyfeel that resentment that which I think is the worst case scenario, so yeahyeah. They feel guilty yeah and I think, on the you know, on the on the lesssunny side of this situation. I think it's not doing this. What we refer toas dewel return parenting, I think, is where it it turns into resentment andanxiety and stress and spouses resent each other. They resent theirkids, their kids, don't like their parents nd, you know, and it can reallythey can corode marriages and families, and so we see this as the antidote tothat. So do I sense another potential book, or at least o speaking to her onthis concept of double return, parenting and ten. We were justfighting about this yesterday, so that would use a different am verb,but me thing, but I have a white board and we filled it up with all thedifferent ideas of how we implement this, and you know one of thegreat things to me. It's very different than the way that I was raised, or the way that I thought wewould raise our kids and it was really hard for me to come on board at firstwhen we were newly parents- and Eric was talking tome about this idea of like well. We gotta like show our kids how to liveinstead of tell them how to live and and like it takes away that martyr modelthat is so popular, especially like at least from my experience among women,and I'm sure it happens with with men too.But it takes your excuses away, a'm sureand I think what was I going to say, oh...

...just because we then have to have the integrity to tell ourkids that yeah you get to be the one who drives the bus in your life. Youknow we anticipate that you will be calling the shots, that you will bemaking the decisions, and I feel like that alleviated a lot of ancst between us because between us,either between us and the kids, because whenever they would want to dosomething, we would be saying yeah. Well, you should go for that. Do youwant to do you want to drop out of school and record an album like? Isthat what you want to do and mhaybe like? Actually, I want to stay inschool, okay, okay, but it like there comes that that how much? How far are you willing to take it and,in the end, all of our kids have stayed in school and gone to college,but we're always there. Don't you want to drop out of college and join us onthe road? No okay. Well, since you're choosing to be there, then we knowyou're happy and they would always say that, like I'm choosing to be in class,you know I want to go to college, which makes it prior that at a priority andthey're going to succeed, you know if they're choosing it like nop yeah, Yeah,plus we let them pay for it so test all the Wik. They thank us for what youguys. That's a trai deal that is a trick. ARANTING Hackno to Rie es have eto Fomhis, so I paid for my on and I worked harder yeah, that's what theysay that, like man, I'm so glad you don't tell me what classes to take oryou're not pulling any strings, and you always encourage me and because you letme pay for myself, I'm I take it seriously and it's like you, respect usand you think we're capable really yeah AWESOM, so this all is incorporatedinto your next project. What is assume what is your next project? The awesomefactory tell us a bit about the awesome factory and how that started. What areyour plans? What's your vision for it? We started the awesome factor this yearwith this idea that most people want more than a conveyor about life Yep andwhat we hope to do is to enquip equip and encourage parents, especially butadults in general to live. Creative adventurous, deliberate lives, becausewe really believe that if you live a life that you love, everybody wins. Youwin the people around you in your kids win, and so you know we we create. We've started creating courseswhere we share ideas that have worked well for us we share. I was talkingabout the system that we used Tha, that we learned writing our book. That kindof accelerated all of the other adventures that we did aut theridea to reality, figuring out what you want and then how to Doin Itio yourlife. We teach that in a course called love your life and then we've got acouple of others that are, you know, really about just some of the buildingblocks that lead up to that yeah. I want to say yo're. One of the thingsthat we realized is that your dreams are are in proportion to how much youtrust yourself, and so, when you keep commitments to yourself, then thatbuilds your trust in yourself that expands like exponentially the sizeyour dreams will be so for us. It really starts with something as smalland basic as like one morning routine thing that you do like for us. Westarted out by just putting our tennis shoes out. So in the morning we had agoal of put on our tennis shoes and walk out the front door of the buildingand then from there. It grew into this like whole elaborate like walk andexercise and fitness thing, but it just started with that one thing and thenbuild our confidence. So that's like that's. We have one free course calledrock solid morning routines and it starts there. You know and and then itseems like a really small thing but yeah as you build that confidence andyou do the things you say, you'll do and the stuff that you think you'recapable of just gets more and more exciting, yeah so share with ourlisteners where they can find you. Your book is called seven at C and thenwhere could they find that that free course and where can they are you onYoutube? But where could you be F? Go to the awesome factory, DOT NYC beanesome fact: Ore Tot NYC, you can find our courses, you can find our book andwe are on social media. I instagram and facebook and Youtube as the awesomefactory, and you know e. We love connecting thisepeople hearing from them if they watch something or see a post and we lovegetting notes and building relationships with people and andencouraging them, because we really do believe that people have great ideasand they're usually going to be different adventures or goals than oursand that's totally cool. We just love cheering people on and what doing whatthey really care about nice, fantastic, a platform for sharing yeah, I'm soexcited that you guys joined us now. This has been fun o know. I have acouple of Trivia questions as like a little game, were you guys up for them?Ol, Oh yeah, yeah for sure oferee loves...

...games, so we always have to we alway tI some kind of game. Wel is so good for you, yeah, okay, so these are hold on. First ofall, she was telling me that these er New York City Trivia questions I' liketha, so we don't know them. Anan were lially now yeah, exactly tentionallychose some that coal will be as likely to know or not not to know, as you guysso they're a little bit random all right. Okay, so first question is statue of Liberty Right. What is itsfull name? Just shout it out. If you know it's, Not Lady Liberty is it no. Ihave no idea. All I know is that it was modeled after the artist's mother,because she was so supportive of his craft that he gave the Stash of liberty his mother'sNACE. But I do not know the foll name. What I didn't realize there wasn't itso. The name of the Statue is Liberty, enlightening the world liberty andlightening the World Soye all right, but I canl understand why theyshortened it because that long to say every time no points awarded no forgetfor anyone. Okay, here's one! You might actually know all right. So twoquestions about the Empire State Building. First of all, does anyoneknow what year it was built? I know they filt it doing Annie. Were they working on it s the Chrislerbuilding? I also don't I'm Goino guess like onethousand nine hundred andthirty five, that's again, really close, which is tipping. You guys off we'rejust going to get I one thousand Inet hundred and thirty OA Terry Clo, okay,yes, okay, that's a point for Eric there. We go how many finge doesn'thave how many floors Y it's over two hundred like so no it's like a hundredand five hundredto hundred and single digits wow eric e're, going to givethat to you. Two hundred a d two hundred hundred two ohtome I've beenthere. So it's on Helpeai was like all I know is: If you have a friend whoworks there, you can get a VIP pass and skip the line. You go there you, so wealways anyway. I've also been there and I did not know how many floors and Idid not have a friend to skip the life, be Ri you di. Never it's because youdidn't walk up to the stod to the top. That's why you didn't know them floor.MAYBE THAT'S OO! No! We took we to yeah yea it'Sono, two yeah yeah that Raisyes, this is all kind of random Trivi of things that I'm surprised with it,onew. Okay, how about this right? New Yorkers love to abbreviate names so,like so Hoa Short for South of Houston? What is Tribecca short for trianglebelow canal impressive? What Wowbo stand for? Oh, I had no idea dumbo. I know that 's, some last partis Brooklyn, Broclet Nope! No! No! I know it's. I know that it's whenyou cross the Brooklyn Bridge Into Brooklyn. It's like right under thebridge. So That's where the BIS bridge werr bridge. This is s down under thebridge very close down under aattan Bridge Manhattan, Bri Overpat, wo good job. I G under wil yeah. We get acouple EAS for they. WTO figured in Ou. Okay, let's go one more question, onemore er! All right, let's see! HMM! I have Havei attribute question for you.After we're, don't hear t? Okay, let's se this on first, how many commuter bridges cross theEast River, how many imuter, writen ridges, NS, Brooklyn, Queens Manhattan, TriberoWashington to then there's the one up in our neighborhood, which I forget,the name of the two or seven bridge. So I want to say fans that will you gotAven oo, nothere's, the WTEVERA Williamsburg, okay, so WilliamsburgQueen, but ther Hav, some smaller ones up inour neighborhood drogs Ni, a white stone, trogs, Nickin white stone? Actually Ithin quit across theeast river, but they all cross into Manhattan. Yeah!Well, that wasn't question okayoss the East Iverit Muim, a so seven yeah Tribero Queensboro, whichis also called the Fiftyninth Street Bridge Manhattan, Williamsburg throgs,Neck Whitestone and Brooklyn Cross. The East Yeah. I think by the time it's upto our neighborhood that then it's not called the Easwi Ge. That could be sothose Atbo! That's why? Okay? Yes, the Harlam River! Once you come up on itsplits and there's the Harlam river and then the East River goes out to LoAland, sound, yeah, okay and that's right, okay, Har one that you guys willactually know that. I'm going to ask because all these are Migas onothe,okay, so the four or I'm going to t say four out of the five New York Cityboroughs and whoever is the first person to say the one. That's missingwins: Game: TAT, Island! Oh my guys. Yes, I WASWAS gonna UMP in Bu, SD, rriht, staten, island, Brooklyn,Manhattan, Bronx, Queens, Qeans, yeah, call yeahight all right, Tet's, that's wher! I didhave STATN Iland, be the one. You had a s, so good yeah. Let's hear Trivi okay!So since you've lived here,...

...theyvthey've abbreviated, the name ofour neighborhood and I'm curious. If you know what it is: Oh Inwood, they'vea bre abbreviated is a Inwood Orwashington, a Wahi Yeah Ikehi yeah. So we live in Wahi right. It's an island in Manhattan sounds likea Hawaiian Island Wahi. Every time we listen to the Washington in the height soundtrack,I'm like yeah man, it's justall! The memories of Washington night, I notgong up that escalator Right B. Oh yes, waiting for the movie to come out. It'sgoing to be so that will be awesome. Rlike. Then, then, when we tell peoplewhere we live, everybody will neteit yeah ill. Get it say Washington, itsand they're like Oh, is that Manhattan Still Yehen they'll know why we look soDominican. They'll, be like you must stick outlike a Sorto, thingh yeah, I will say that traveling through the Caribbean had an added bonus of helping us to really get our neighbors.I was like I understand why they're all sitting on park benches facing Broadwaylike with their sleeves pushed up, you know trying to get more sun or, likethe our grocery stores, the little quirky things you have to do like leaveyour bag at the front stuff, like that's all in the Caribbean, SJ, soyeah it came back and I was like I get it. I appreciate it like it's soawesome.Well, it's been roots been so fun to catch up with both of you. Thanks fortaking the time to meet with us. That's the awesome factory, seven at se,everyone go check it out and thanks for listening, yeah, my guys, the Ma. Thankyour.

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