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Accidental Parenting
Accidental Parenting

Episode 9 · 2 years ago

S01E8: City Life

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

The perks and drawbacks of having kids in the city vs. the suburbs. Amy Webb from This Little Miggy shares details about her newly published children's book When Charley Met Emma.

I've got a bit of a throwback for today's episode. Do you remember where we were living in January of two thousand and nine? Yeah, New York City, New York City. So in January, on the fifteen to be exact, of two thousand and nine, this is when flight one thousand, five hundred and forty nine took off from Laguardia and hit a flock of geese. How did this story end? So, Captain Sully, we saw the movie eventually, and he ended up landing the plane in the Hudson River, in the Hudson River, which which is the from our apartment. We were right off the Hudson exactly, and I was thinking about this the other day. The flock of geese that he hit he hit him around when he was over the Bronx Zoo and he couldn't turn around, so he had to land in the Hudson. Do you remember where there were a ton of geese near where we lived? Yes, that park across the river. Yeah, it was in Fort Lee called it was called Ross Doc Picnic area and it was this great little picnic area. Actually, the the movie big the the beginning scene where they're at the Carnival and whatever, the old armaltar machine. Yeah, that was film here at the Ross Doc Picnic area in Fort Lee, New Jersey, and we'd love to take our kids there, but it was always tricky that they agree. Only went once. Actually, I only remember. Yes, we only went once because it was so tricky to navigate all the goose poop. It was in the cupboard in goose poop and our oldest used to say, Hey, look out because there's going to be some mother goose poop there. That's right to call it mother goose. It was always mother goose coop. Let me today we're going to be talking about city life versus what living in the suburbs. Yes, yeah, so on today's podcast I'll be talking to amy web from this little migge about her children's book city life and accessibility. We knew them when we both lived in New York City. Parenting in the city was such a different experience from parenting in the suburbs. It was so when we moved there and we had a bit of a different scenario. I was the stay at home dad for the two years that we were there. Our first year we lived in a two bedroom apartment and Hudson heights and we didn't have a car, and that was very difficult navigating strollers and subways and stairs and well, you'd have bags and bags of grocery, the groceries, the weather, the snows, just really hard to do. So if time there's plus a stroller. Yeah, after a year we decided to downgrade. We moved from a two bedroom to a one bedroom and decided to get a car. That's right. Our bed was in the living room and the kids were in the bedroom. We treated it like a studio for ourselves and then gave the kids the bedroom. And having that car was was game changer for my sanity. It helped me to get out of a city, especially into in the wintertime. I could take them to a shopping mall or to a park and just able to navigate a little bit more. But even once we had that car, there was inconveniences like stree parking. You have true, like said, an alarm to move the car when the streets being cleaned. And Yeah, sometimes we would get home late at night and there was no parking anywhere. Well, you would be like circling the block forever looking for a spot, and at times that was to our my benefits. You remember who I met when I was waiting to find a parking spot outside of our building? Hell boy, hell boy, that's okay, might crud. His name is Ron Pearlman. We had to pause and Google that. To be honest, I tried to. I tried to make it sound really smooth, like there was no break. I'M gonna be honest here. Yeah, so, Ron Pearlman, hell boy. Also mom lived in a lay from sons of anarchy. His mom lived on our building and he'd come to visit her and one time I dropped two kids off and Aubrey and went to go park and there was no parking, so I sat out in front of our building for a bit and he came out smoking a big cigar, so I chatted with him for a few minutes. Neat Guy Guy, nothing like you would expect, right, because he usually plays the villain or like this mean graph guy. But he was a great guy. So, living in the city, the parking was a pain. I ended up sitting timers and or moving and leaving to go into New Jersey so that I didn't have to double park and figure that that whole mess out. That's a lot more convenient now that we live in the suburbs. I'm telling you, after two years of living in the city's estate at Home Dad, I told Aubrey I can't do this anymore. Let's figure out something, and that something for US ended up being moving back out west where they were space. Yes, I mean for me, I can and go to the grocery store, fill my car with groceries and then park in my garage and you and carry the groceries in and the end we've a fridge with space. It's amazing. Well, not just one grocery store, you can do to toss Costco, target, warmer, trader, just anywhere you want. Is All within a three mile radius and it's just so convenient. Even creciated a lot more having lived in the city those conveniences. I'm grateful for it. A lot of a lot of people might not even think about how easy it is here. Well, outside of the navigating city life, your your group of friends, your...

...network in the city becomes so different. Right, we had play date groups and we had preschool groups that we take all the kids too and those people really become your family, because when you're living in New York City, chances are your family isn't anywhere near and that was really cool for us and the webs who, Aubrey, will interview a me in just a few moments. She became part of that network for us and it was a lot of fun. Let's start the interview with Amy Web. Here it is. How's it going? A me good, abby. How are you doing? I'm excellent. Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm so excited. You know, it's been a while since we chatted, so I'm really happy. We're just talking, though, about how I feel like we chat every day because I follow you on social media. Right, we're tight, even though it's probably, like you said, it's probably been over a decade exactly since we actually talked. Yeah, nice to catch up. Yes, so we do like to start interviews with an awkwardly personal question. So I'm going to ask you what is the craziest thing you ever did at a sleepover? Okay, good question. So this particularly thing I did wasn't so crazy, but sort of like the how the events played out was a little bit crazy. So in middle school it was just a given that if I slipped over at my one friend's house, we went out and tapied, you know. Oh Yeah, all the night like that was just a given that we would do that. And so my friend of and and I went out doing our usual thing, wandering around her neighborhood wondering who we should hit. And and it wasn't a mean spirited thing for us. It was like a fun you know. We usually just did people's house, like a lot of us. We did older kids that like in high school that we didn't really know for sure, and it was just for fun. It was funny, it's easily. I wasn't ever like to be mean. Yeah, spirited and stuff. So today, one night we're like, Oh, let's go, let's go get any Powell's house. You know, she was a great older than us. We we knew her kind of, not super well, but she you know, we had some other mutual friends. So we started taping our house. It's like two in the morning, you know, I think I'm in eighth grade, and all of a sudden the front door flies open and this man comes running out and we are terrified. Would yeah, cuz I don't know. That's the thing. Like I know any poll I know nothing about a family. I don't she have that older brothers. Is Our dad and my friend it's just two of us and my friend, you know her, names Amanda. She starts running and and he, I mean he is like booking it after us. This is and and it's a grown adult man. So she eventually stops. I catch up for her and she turns around. She's goes, please, some time, my parents, please, some time, my parents, please with hell, my parents, and he's like okay, girls, come on, let's go, let's go clean this up. And we we get over there to his house. So this is the dad and then the wife's outside and she's like, Oh you girls, what are you guys doing? Don't eat. Everyone knows I'm the lightest sleeper in the neighborhood. And we're like sorry, yeah, like we're just awkward. And the DAD's like go get the girls up, go get the girls up, and we're like no, get the girls up. And again, like all in those Amies, I'm like the girls. Does she have a sister? Like, who is this? Then eventually they do go get the girls up and it's a mean she had a friend sleeping over and okay, so my maiden name is Ghek okay, which was which in high school a lot of people called me Geek as like as like a nickname. Man, couldn't they go with like Gecko, get better than times happened and honestly, just get as both are bad. Geek was just but it was like it wasn't again. It wasn't even mean his right tea, uney. And and so we're out there cleaning up this thing, and an amy, the girl we kind of know, comes out with her friend who's sleeping over, and she's like, Geek, what are you doing? We're like sorry, embarrassing. We're all out there like to in the morning cleaning up and they're like you girls, want to come inside for a Pepsi, and we're like sure. They invite us inside and we just like hung out shooting the brain. Join A sleepover. Yeah, I like two in the morning, like the parents, and they're telling a story there again, going over my go. Everyone knows she's the lightest sleeper. You don't, you don't t be the towels like well, and and then it was just like two hundred and thirty three. They're like all right, you girls better get on your way. No more trouble for you tonight, and they just like send us out the door and we were just like, oh my gosh, what just did that just happen? I actually have a very similar story, only it did not end as well. We were to Lee toilet paper in deep being somebody on a sleepover, and they caught us, but we had cut up all these newspaper. We had like shredded newspaper and sprinkled it on their grass, which is a little more mean spirited. Thinking back, I like, why did I do that?...

Why did I think that was okay? I mean, you know, I kid, but still, and the parents caught us. They did not wake up the kids. They made us pick up every little piece, I'm shredded newspaper and it took forever and it was so embarrassing just to get caught. They not invite us in for a nice chat. Yeah, that was the twist of the story. And we were and we were still jittery about like getting caught and feeling right, you're got, you know, and like yeah, it's so unexpected that they would be so funny and chill about it and we're still meanwhile like yeah, Hey, yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad they were took it better. I'm glad you hadn't shred it up newspaper, because so they might not a little more upset. They might have been more upset. Yeah, so amy and I were friends in New York City. We both lived there at the same time when we had just brand new babies, brand new toddlers, and we were like new MOMS figuring it out and figuring out life in the city with kids. Yes, and since then we both we both moved it about the same time. I think you guys left about a year before us. We left in two thousand and ten and I think you got right before that. Right, yes, we were two thousand and nine. Yeah, like right about the same time. And since then we've both like moved around and kind of but stayed in touch via social media. But I'm going to intro you by making a few assumptions. I like to do this and then if I'm wrong, just correct me and tell me what the truth is. Okay, so I'm going to say you grew up in California, Colorado. Oh, I was kind of far off on that one. Yeah, and your first job was a game attendant at the county fair. Very close. I worked at the gap and Oh, that is so close, very close. I think it'd be more fun to be a game attendant, but also, like you not, it's actually much more impressive that you were able to get a nice retail job for your first job. I was proud of myself. Rush Really Beats Mine, which was in the potato factory. That is awesome. Not as glamorous though, for sure. Okay, I want to say for breakfast, you usually eat yogurt. True, yeah, I got it. I yogurt and a protein shake of some sort. Good for you. I lately always end up eating my kids leftover half eaten toast after I get back from dropping them off, or like a half eaten bull of OAT meal. Yeah, I did, I'm not my kids scarb was disposal. I know that rule up for myself a long time to throw it away. Why am I doing that? I'm feel free to adopt it. Amy. I'm stopping as of today because every time I'm like, that was gross. It's just like I have this it's like it's like I grew up in the depression era where you don't want to waste food. This is yeah, no, but husband has this saying yeah, does his family's over told his mom was raised by her ground group in the depression, and so she will like. It's like the joke that she eats rotten food. That's funny. Yeah, I mean, that's me. I tell him. I was raised by grandparents who group in the depression, like I lived at my grandfriends as a kid and I don't believe in I don't have to adopt those practices. I'm gonna eat what I want for breakfast, and this yogurt and protein shake is much healthier and better for me. Yes, yes, okay. Well, I want to talk about your book. First of all, you recently had a beautiful children's book published, when Charlie met Emma. Can you tell us about it why you decided to write it? Yes, the book is called when Charlie met Emma. It is about a little boy named Charlie who goes to the park one day and he sees a girl who's really different, like he sometimes feels different. But he gets in the park and he sees this girl. She doesn't have any hands and she also uses a wheelchair and he is like Whoa like? His mind is blown by this and so he kind of says this loud and comfortable thing to his mom. He's like, why does she look so weird? And then you kind of have this moment where the mom's like, crap, you know, what do I? What do I do here? And she kind of guides them through, like hey, that's that's not nice, you don't use that. And and then he she invites him to go over and introduced himself to Emma and they kind of start this little friendship and they talked about why she's different, you know, but why she's also alike, and and this little friendship is born. And there's like a mantra in the book that kind of serves is like the base of everything, and it says different isn't weird, sad, bad or strange. Different is different and different is great. And so the book came about because I have three daughters and my middle daughter who online and on my blog at Instagram, her her name is is lamp that that's not her real name, right, like hate when people think that's her actual real name. As much as I want to be like private my kids, I'm also like, her name isn't really and she actually has a beautiful name. And so, yeah, is not her name, beautiful, regular human person name? Yes, so, but she was born with line differences like the character Emma they're a lot the same, but I mean she she knows that the character is based on her, but it is separate from her. They have different personalities, different interest yes, but you know, she...

...she presents a very differently to the world and she also has a wheelchair user. Her legs are, you know, much short of and typical. She doesn't have most of her left arms. It's really short. It's kind of like a nub or a stub, people would say. And then her right arm is a little bit longer, but it goes to about where most people's elbows would be. And then there's a small hand. It's different from most people's hands, but it's in it so it's got. She's has three fingers kind of fused all together. That's just to give people sort of a visual of my daughter and so I wrote the book because that experience is something we've lived dozens and dozens of times and and it you know and it's it. You know, just like puaranting in general. You're figuring it out and it's all new at the beginning, and how you are when you first have a kid is, you know, you're very different parent. Now, least I am. You know, twelve years into this Gig than I was in the first year to yeah, oh, that's first same for all of us, for sure, right, and and the same thing when you're a parent of a child with a disability. So at the beginning everything was new. There was a lot about disability in general that was like fascinating to me. It was interesting to watch my daughter of learned how to use this by that was so different. And to watch her, you know, she doesn't she doesn't have, you know, possible thumbs and for the most part, like I said, she has a hand, but it's you know, it's different other people's hands. So what she says that she doesn't have grabbing hands. And so for her she uses for all her fine motor skills, she uses her feet. She writes through her feet, she draws with her feet, and it was all really fascinating and and the beginning of the Jur of this, you know, our life with her. It was I was seeing everything from the point of view as as I have my whole life, of an able bodied person and over the course of her life, you know, those early years I started to well, first we were just we were having experiences like that that were so common and I did often know how to react or how did you know? I always wanted to give children like this education, but I also wanted to like hold a sign up everywhere we went just to tell people how to like treat up, just like you know, it's hard to always be an educational mode. And but somewhere along the way I sort of really started coming around to the idea that like, oh, we're we're prejudice against people disabilities, and I started interviewing people my blog. You know now I've done like over two and thirty interviews. That was a big part of my education into disability and disability awareness and, to be honest, your blog about it has been a huge education for me. I was the same. I had very little awareness, and every time I read one of your interviews it's so enlightening, like I'm learning so much and I have a better idea of what I should be thinking and feeling and saying, and it's so been just wonderful. I'm so glad to hear that. And and the thing is is, like I want people understand like I came from this perspective. At the beginning of doing that, I started the blog when she was about a year old. kind of thinking like, Oh, these are these are my people, were going to tell you all what's up, and I realized very quickly, like, oh, I don't know anything, like I'm in the same boat as everyone else, like I have a daughter who's disabled, but I, you know, still very ablest, which, if people don't know that term, it's like the discrimination people with disabilities experience. So instead of like racist, they experience ableism. Or I'm instead of racism or something like that, they experience ableism. And so I was I was coming from that standpoint and one of one of the big awakenings in this journey and process for me was realized that the reason children react that way often times is because, and of course I knew this that time. Won't like, Oh, they don't know any better, because they don't. They haven't seen anyone like her before. Of course they haven't seemed like her. But the realization was like, oh, they haven't seen anyone like her because we don't have kids like her in the media, in the world around this. We don't have kids like my daughter on our TV shows, in our advertising or in our children's book books, and so it was sort of this like greater awareness of like, Holy Crap, like we've scrubbed the world of disabled bodies. And that's one of the reasons kids react so strongly right. They see it so rarely right. And it's like I can and I and I can understand when you don't see your everyday life. You know, my kids go to small schools. They're kind of exposed to the same kids all the time and and that's one thing. But again, like this greater idea of like representation really hit me hard and so so, yeah, I wanted to write the book to really up that representation for my daughter, for other kids like her, for able body kids who won't who don't know and want to be exposed, for...

...parents who want to taste our children about disability but like don't know how and don't know where to start. And so, you know, it was like all of that. Yeah, so many reasons. Yes, all of that was sort of like why I decided to write this book. And then, of course, even the very basic of like what do you do when you're out and about and your meeting you, you know, you're introduced, your child sees a kid who's disabled. How do you handle that? That that situation, which which is cut the situation. The book lays out well. I know that everyone I've recommended it to love it and they've all been able to have meaningful conversations with their kids about it, as did I, and I know we're not the only ones. What has the response been to the book? It's been amazing. Like it. That's a cool thing about like writing the book, you know, because I've been logging for I don't know, fourteen years and that was how I used to try to get my messages out there in the world. But the difference of having a book is like, you know, it's this thing you hold and it's as tangible object that's in your house and the illustration. It's something I can give a school and I can give a friend and right and and that, you know. And people love children's books. I mean who doesn't want to give their kid another book? I mean, you know, it's like we have so many toys and junk and stuff that we fill our houses up with the like, you know, good book. I feel like everyone will, especially when that's kind illustrated beautifully, which yours really is like that. I mean the message, yea, is so powerful, but also you just look at it, it's beautiful. Someone might pick it up off the shelf just because of that, not realizing anything about it. Well, and that, and I'm so glad you brought that up. So the illustrator is merely lydear. She's to serve a huge shadows of the talents. She's amazing and I knew her before and when I had the idea to do the book, I like met her two days later and like immediately had this like, oh my gosh, she's who I want to illustrate my book. This is not a coincidence. Yeah, yeah, it was, and so that's the kind of a whole other story. But but I was very purposeful and new for the beginning. I want this to be a beautiful book, because agains so often that it's the sad truth that like disability and good design and beauty are like not seen on the same spectrum. Oh yeah, and that like the disability community gets the shaft when it comes to good design those things. And so it was really important to me that this was like had to be a beautiful book. So I'm glad you love that. But the response of all it's just it's been amazing. Like I get you know, one of the main ways I hear back about it, as on my instagram, so people will tag me in their posts or in their you know, they'll put a story up about it or share something or just write me a DM. And you know I mean, on the one hand it's like I'm hearing back from other kids, maybe with line differences, like I, you know, seeing a picture that someone post on facebook of their daughter reading the book with her feet was like so amazing because it was like she was like, you know, the mom was like she's never seen herself in a book before, like we could just cry, you know, and that to finally see herself represented, that's huge and that's huge. And even if a child isn't disabled a specific way, that Emma is because not most, most children aren't, you know, right. But to have something that's very physically different, I think that a lot of kids who do have a disability, especially they person relate to that. They've done very differently, relate to that. And she's a wheelchair users. So a lot of kids, you know, wheelchairs re Gret regarless of having them differences or not. So there's that, there's that side to it. That is been wonderful to hear and then the other side, like you and other families who just like just reading the book, they've their kids, the edges opened up, like such good questions for their kids and just a good opportunity to talk about this and and, and that's sort of the like almost like the hidden trick in the boath is, like the book is intended to help you know what to do if, like, okay, if you're out and about and you you meet someone who's disabled, your kids, mean as what is disabled, for the first time. What's the best way to handle it? But, like the real thing is is you're having the discussion in your house before that happened yes, before they have a chance to say something that might be mean, and so they're already being exposed to it in a way that a lot of times we haven't before, me because I was, you know, before I had my middle daughter, I was a mom of a little girl who's typical and I did have those conversations with her. I didn't think about it. Yeah, I know, I know what it's like to be a parent and not think about that. That's until you're in the situation and then you write. So think on the fly. What do I do? What do I do. Yes, yes, and so that you know that response has been awesome. I think one of my favorite stories someone told me. They said I just I just have to tell you know, we've loved your book and we, you know, my son, we've read it a lot of times and we were at the park the other day and there was a little boy there with a limb difference and my son ran right up to him was like, Oh, you have a limb difference. That's so cool. And she said the mom was just done, she said, because her...

...son was five years old. She said in five years we have never had a child one use the term limb difference and to run up to him and excited about it. She said most kids call it creep call him creepy or weird and they like back away. And so to have to have had that big of a change experience with me and I just think I you know, just makes me want to cry because I just think like, yes, like, and that's the power of representation. You know for sure that that is the power of representation and especially when you present in a positive light and you teach and educate kids, it just it can completely shift a whole narrative yes, and even if that were the only positive experience that came from the book, would be a win. But yeah, you're able with this book to reach such a bigger scale, like a lot of people have been able because read it in there and have these conversations, and so it's amazing. I'm so I love it and it's a beautiful book. How thank you. Thank you, and it is it's fun to see it like it just continues to get spread out in the world. That's what's so fun about it. Yeah, it's like I still you know, it's been out since March and it's still fun to hear stories and People's experiences and when it actually just when Charlie met Emma just won the gold medal Moonbeam Children's Book Award in the compassion category, which is awesome. But it's getting what's it been like to have it recognized like that? I mean, you know, I think I said something like not the chair on Topazola cheries was like the chocolate on top. But yeah, I mean honestly, you know, it's awesome. It's so wonderful. Obviously be recognized and I feel like I'm gonna be someone who, like at an award shows like it's just, you know, just to be recognized category is amazing. Is a gift enough, you know, but it's true, like for me, I feel like just to to get the book published. You don't mean like to start on someone, because it was like a too. It was a two year process, you know, writing the book to actually getting a publisher, you know. So so to have even you know, so honestly, just every little thing extra long way really feels like like like extra. I mean it's wonderful, but it's also like just doing the book and in general has the recognition that someone wanted to publish it and market it and get it out there was. Yeah, let it's you know, the word is amazing, but also just the fact that people are reading it and loving it like that recognition really every day, is even better, right, for sure. Yeah. So I as you know, we talked about your the disability spotlight, which I've always read, and so I was kind of sad when there's a little bit of a hiatus, but I get it with life and everything happening. But I read that you started it back up, which I'm excited about. For anyone who's listening who's not familiar with it, can you let them know kind of what it is and where they can find it? Yeah, so if you go to my blog, which is called this little maybe stay at home, it's M Iggy, I have a section called, well, it says disability spot light now. So it used to be the specially spotlight. So I've recently kind of changing my verbage here. Yeah, and so you can eat. There's a tab ofth the top, so you can read it there. I have, as probably you know, I probably do need to update it. He's like I, you know, everyone's want to have to add the most of the most current ones, and so it's probably the list I have there may not be current but, like you look through my blog, it's all there. But but even so, I mean there's over so there's ever like two hundred and thirty interviews and it really started out in the beginning it was mostly me interviewing other parents of kids of disabilities, and that's still like probably the largest demographic that's on there right. But but now I really hope that I I'm able to get more and I then eventually, sorry, I'm kind of like jumping around here. It started out that way, but eventually I did start interviewing like adults from a firsthand perspective, and that's really when so much of my education shift. Did you know? Because it it is one thing to hear, and it's a valuable perspective, to hear the story of a parent who's going this road and suddenly you have this this curveball that you don't expect and, like me, like you learn a lot about life, you start to see life in a new ones but it's an entirely different thing to hear about someone who has lived this experience, most of the time from when they were children and and to tell you what it's like to live in a world built for and buy able bodied people and to not fit that, that that not to not anymore. We have do not fit. I remember actually the first one, because it was like MOMS with kids grown. And I remember the first one where you were interviewing someone who would actually experienced it themselves, and it was kind of mind blowing, like Oh, okay, this is such and for them to be willing to share such personal details and really how they were experiencing it themselves was it was extremely powerful. Yeah, and so those are some of my favorite ones, and so I've started it back up again. And...

...really, you know, the highatus was it was a blog heids in general, and I've kind of stepped away a little bit from from doing the blog as much. Just time and life and seasons Runera. You've got kids, you're got all right, little busy and but I but I do want to still do the spotlight just because it, I mean, without the spotlight like the book when exists, you know. So I wouldn't have I think a lot of people maybe would assume that, like my advocacy kind of in the things I speak about stem from just being my you know, having my daughter. And really my advocacy really is the spotlight. And then I think anything else I do have done on top that really has stemmed from that has done from that awareness of that knowledge, and it's I would say it's about five fifty, you know, from being the mother of a daughter's disability to also reading and learning from all these people and all these different experiences. And well, I wanted to ask you about you know, you and your husband have lived in many different places and yeah, I'm curious how those cities compare in two ways. First, just in in having kids and having things to activities to do with them. And then also as far as accessibility, you know how of the city's compared and and if you can briefly talk about I know you have kind of created like the dream accessible home, which is probably making your current city feel more accessible just because your home is. But yeah, tell us a little bit about that. Yeah, okay, so we've lived in New York City, Cincinnati and San Antonio and as a family and we currently live in Cincinnati. So I loved, just freaking love New York City. I don't know if you feel the same way. I yeah, I still miss it. I'm feeling like my arm has been cut off. It will always be in my blood. I will always at city. I got to go back twice this past year, recently, and it's I love it. Does it feel like you're going home, like you don't feel like you're a tourist anywhere? Right? Yeah, no, no, I don't, and I love it and it's especially because I gotta still stay with you know, we're friends in yeah, where we still live and stuff, and so that's really fun. But it is. We did take lamp there once when she was like a baby, and so this was pret wheelchair prey. All of that. It's a nightmare of as city for accessibility. And I remember hecting the strollers up and downstairs and every elevator smells awful. Yes, the work speak to that as like mothers who had, you know, yet toddlers. Because, yeah, because accessibility isn't just for people with those hairs, it's for so many different situations. And Yeah, the strollers. I mean, I still couldn't believe like you just carry it, you know, like that racely' just is what happens here, right and and so, as much as I would love to like some day live there again, I can't really fathom that. That being said, I know that they're doing a huge you know, now that they're having to update a lot of these subways. I know that there's going to be a huge push. Someone emailed me some article about like, you know, like changing a lot of it to make it more accessible. That would be nice, which would be great, right, but I'll always, I always look. You see, it's easily my favorite city in the world. Yeah, and then San Antonio. The great thing about San Antonio, when I think of accessibility, is I just think of the weather, because wheelchairs in general do not go well with snow, so and and so. And then for our daughter, because she uses her feet as her hands, she doesn't wear shoes and socks very often. I mean he wears them when it's cold and like, you know, when she's going to school, like right now that it's the weather starting to turn, it's like she wears them to school in the morning, but then like in school they're off the whole day, you know. Yeah, and because that's she's writing and she's doing stuff with them, and then and then when she comes home or she does outside, you know they might be back on. But even then a lot of times, unless it's like really ful, lot times she still has them off. And so that was a nice about Santa too, and it was just like she could always have no shoes and she could always be like pretty freed that way and that we're really nice. And then it gets like that here, yeah, like without the major without snow and stuff, because because we got her wheelchair when we live in San Antonio, her first wheelchair, and so so it was nice in that sense of like we when we remember thinking like move, kind of Nice to be here long term because you know the weather would be good for accessibility and actually a lot. You know what I think about it too, and I didn't think about it. then. A lot of houses there are one story ranches. That mean people don't have basements in San Antonio typically, right, and so so, in that sense to that, you know, I didn't even think about that, because that, as we're learning, is one of the harder parts of accessibility. is obviously there's still public spaces, but it's actually private residences...

...that you feel more restricted the older they get, because you can't go in certain people's houses. HMM. And then Cincinnati. So Cincinnati is it's a little bit in the middle, I mean and and it's definitely nowhere near New York City as being bad, but it's, you know, because you know, there's not a subway system here. So we're not we're not repeting an out of a car, right, and so we yeah, exactly. So we have a an accessible Dan. But the tricky thing about Cincinnati, it's the thing I love, is that's it's a really old city and it's beautiful and it's got beautiful old architecture, has got beautiful old homes. The first house we bought, because we actually lived here twice and because we did residency and then we left and then we for San Antono and then we came back afterwards. And our first house here was is gorgeous, like three story Victorian. I was like ninety six years old at the time, and those are everywhere here and they're beautiful, but they're so dang inaccessible. No, yeah, good luck getting upstairs or downstairs. And even then. And then just a lot of the buildings here, because so Sincinnati has the largest urban historic district in the country, I believe, or second largest, and so it's again beautiful downtown, but you have a lot of these these buildings and places where it's just it's just one step maybe just to get in kind of lot. Has This old timey you know, like these downtown fields, but we have a lot of these places alike don't have a ramp or you're going around back or I don't know, and that that could be hard, that could be really, really frustrating. So our house, we spent a year and a half renovating this beautiful midstry home and it's amazing. It's like you had said something before, and I'm sure you know you love living here just because your household is accessible. And yes, it's I mean it's incredible. You know, we traveled this summer a little bit. We actually went down to Texas and went to Utah stay with some friends and even just being there with our daughter for like a week. It's really you know, I realize how wonderful and would have blessing our home is, because it's hard to have a you know, have her being a space where your her wheelchair can't get inside either either house, because she has a power wheelchair. It's over three hundred pounds, and so that's very different even than like a manual lived here. That, you know, that is not the strollers we had a New York or you can write, lifted up and down the stairs. This is very different, right. Yes, like you need a ramp to get it into a house. And so and even other people with, you know, with Manuel Wheel chairs, like it would stink to have to get out and, you know, have some put you at you know, take you out of your seat and then carry the chair inside and then get you back in. But you could, and so could. We couldn't even. We couldn't even do that with with her her chair. And so then she's scooting everywhere and then you're also, you know, stuff like in the bathrooms like we've made them. are bathrooms super accessible for her, so she could be really independent in there. She could be independent all throughout our house. And we just, you know, we it's spacious because again, with a wheelchair, specially hers, it's heavy, but it's also big. Manual, wild or power wheelchairs just tend to be bigger and bulkier, and so you got to watch your doorway withits and you're turning radius has and you know. So having a space that's big and open and then, you know, we have a an elevator in our chair in our house, but then also outside there's you know, there's ramps to get in the front door and there's a ramp on the side to the to go round side of the House. So, yeah, it's like all those things are just it makes a world of difference. And so we do love our home and I don't know, it's also kind of like the anchor keeping us here, because we're like Oh, yeah, really, never moving now now. Well, and the other thing that really sucks is like it was, it's it was really expensive. You know, it's not. Well, yeah, and that's what sucks about accessible housing is that it's hard to find doing something custom most people can afford that, know, and even a lot of people who like love their homes, but maybe they have a you know, then they have one of their kids who's born with a disability and then they need a wheelchair. I've got to try to add something. Not I you know, had a mom reach out to me in a facebook group that I'm on and she was kind of asked me about this and she was like, yeah, we want to do an addition, but they're talking about some luxury tax and we're like Hellos of our daughter, he's disabled. And so she's like, you know, do you know of any like tax breaks? But you know, and as like I don't even know, like because we, you know, we were doing the whole house from scratch anyway. So it's right, you know, we weren't doing specifically, just you know, to add on to it. But on top of that, it's like, you know, you have to think of these things. These things aren't things that insurance helps with. Insurance doesn't help you get an...

...accessible Dan, you know. So that's an another thing that that is really, you know, excited for the very yeah, cities, but it's like it's accessibilities. Expensive, yes, and not available to everyone, to like you were saying too. Yeah, you know, I have a good friend who's actually someone I interviewed on my spotlight and she's a wheelchair user and I think she said she spent like eight months house hunting in her hometown when she was moving out and trying to live on her own, trying to find a place that was accessible, and in the end she still had to have like a ramp built up to the front stairs. But, like you know, eight months because everything is either super, super like, if it's cheap, there's like a two or three year waiting list and and so what about the people who have two weeks to move and they have to bait a place because they're been like this or it's or it's like super expensive and custom and so that's so anyway, we're grateful and we're lucky, but it's I know it's not something everyone can do and it's part of the frustration. Definitely. Well, Amy, I'm so grateful you're willing to, you know, to chat with me about some of these things. That's been wonderful. I knew it would be. You're so awesome. This is so fun this is really, really fun, and of course we're going to end with a game. You Know Me. Oh yes, so here's what we're going to do. I gave you a little bit of heads up because I needed you to come up with to Trivia questions that you don't know the answer to and that I might or I might not know the answer to write. So what we're going to do is you're going to ask yours and I'm going to ask mine and we are going to try and guess if the other person's bluffing, and we won't really know because we don't know the answer, and then we'll look them up after okay, so I will go first. I will ask you one and then, yeah, if you don't know the answer, you kind of have to play it off like you do, Oh, I know this, and then just make up an answer on the fly. So it's hard to me to tell if you're bluffing or not. So it's kind of a test to see how good you are at bluffing on the fly, which is really hard to do actually. Yeah, okay, so just my first question ready. HMM, name a pro basketball player, anyone who isn't retired? Oh, Toby Bryant, so I think he's retired. I asked Cole. We might be wrong, so see if you can come up with someone else. I could not call this. Laughing so hard, I could not name a single pro basketball player. I was like anphony. Hardaway I was like, yeah, Steve Nash, like everyone I could say I retired, thinks that. Michael Jordan. Yes, Oh, wait, steph curry. Oh, maybe that's sound familiar. Is it's the best thing is it's I always thought it was Steven Curry. Then someone that's de Curry. Hey, we're gonna look it up and you may have just kind up with an answer. I'm like that kind of sounds going to here. It'll be funny if he's actually like a chef or something. No, I know he's a basketball player. Okay, Hey, you got that above me. We're gonna look up Steph Curry, but first you may have gotten that right. Okay, so now you ask me one. Okay, who? What? Mine's also a sports question. Okay, tell you, tells you a little bit about you have, what we do. Or Joanna, who won the world series last year, which probe basic. I actually know this. It was. Yes, it was the giants San Francisco giants? Oh Really? Yes, are you just making that episode? Well, that's what you have to guess. Am I bluffing or not? And I didn't say for seed. I totally assumed that you had really come up with that name and if not, I'm very impressed because I do not think you were bluffing. I think you really think Steph curry is a basketball player. That was a block. I'm so impressed. So now you now you guess for me. Am I bluffing about the giants? No, you know they want own nice. I am Blacky, like. I am not even sure if the giants are a team in San Francisco. Is that right? That sounds like it might be right, though, but if the giants one, I feel like it was maybe several years ago. So it's going to be interesting to check, but maybe I'm right. Okay, so here's your second question. Name and amino acid. Oh Gosh, we were just talking about amino acid the other night. You're going to be able to think of one, I can feel it. And Vinegar. Who? That actually might be accurate. I as you know, I had to ask you something. I don't know. I cannot name an amino acid and maybe vinegar is unfortunate. I'm guessing it was a bluff, butch that for you. It might be right. So I'm going to see your bluffing. Kind of guessing and bluffing is a little bit the same in this case.

Right. Yeah, yeah, I don't know, but a name. You know, acid it is. I feel like. I feel like they're all complicated scientific names. Oh so it was for sure a bluff because you weren't talking about them. You were blessing about that. Now, yes, because like it could be vinegar, but I was bluffing. Yes, it's a bluff for sure. Okay, okay, ask your last question. Okay, the beaver is the national emblem of which country? Oh, yes, I know this too. It is Norway. How I can't believe I knew both of yours. I'm going to say you're lying on not lying, bluffing amy. There's a difference. Bluffing a hundred percent. I have no idea. All right, so now we're going to Google them and I'm first looking up steph curry. Stephen Curry, point guard for the Golden State Warriors. You get it. I'm so gonnat and I kind of got it too, because I thought that you really did know that and that you weren't bluffing. So we're both right. World Series winner two thousand and eighteen was the Boston red sox. I was totally wrong. I was totally really wrong too, but yeah, you were wrong, that I wasn't lacking really did get me on that bluff. I really thought you already know this. I was like, she seems like she really does know, but then it was too obvious with the Norway one, because I kind of use es same like I know this. Sorry, yeah, okay. So let's see amino acids. We've got. Where's the list of amino acids? Pistadine, isolucine, Lucine, Lizene, I've heard of that one. Methionine, Vanilla, lanin's so three a minute. Crypto Fan, I've heard of tripped a fan to. That's what I mean. ASIDH, I don't see vinegar. That would have been amazing if it were the alsome, just like yeah, like lutes ACRO. See Vinegar. Did you ggle? Is Vinegar an amino acid? Is Vinegar, and Amino acid, like it might be an acid, was probably not an amino right. True, vinegar is a combination of ascetic acid and water made by a two step from fermentation process. So you got that. It's an acid. So, but I'm impressed at least that you were able to bluffing. Acid range is the lasting is a national emblem of Canada. Oh, good to know. That makes sense. I should have guessed Canada. Did you know that went out or you were like it's no buddy's I actually, I actually just had a look up like Trivia questions, and then you could like the perfect and then would hire the answer and as I oh, that's a good one. When I was thinking of the questions, I was like I could ask her to name a pro bowler, but then I was like it's got to be something that she might know, that the average person might know. Might now don't think you could find very many people who could name a pro bowler. So I went basketball, which, hilariously, I could not name a single one. That's hilarious. That is larious. I liked that game. That was fun. Yeah, that was good. That was fun. Thank you again for being here a mey today. It was so fun chatting with you you too. Thank you, Avery. All right, we'll talk to you later. What a great interview. So good to hear Amy's voice. Aubrey, great job, amy, thanks for coming, thanks for participating. We really appreciate your insight and a lot of fun. It was funny. We were talking earlier about how nice it is to have a garage now, but in the middle of the interview you got home from a dentist appointment and the garage opened and you can hear it so loud in the background, and then you left for work and you could hear it again, and I'm curious if anyone listening to it will hear the that garage opening and think that's their garage opening and that someone's getting home at their house. It's yeah, so if you hear the garage opening the background, that's just me subtly interrupting Aubrey's interview. Your garage is not opening right now, especially if you're in here listening to this as you're trying to go to sleep at twelve o'clock at that the garage just opened. That'd be that'd be pretty bad. So a couple of notes that I wanted to hit on. Obviously the interview itself fantastic in regards to disability awareness. Really cool things there, but I'm seeing some trends here with the games that you're playing. HMM, Canada. Canada seems to be an overarching theme. I love Canada. Well, I mean as we all do, but you've got the it was the Canadian prime minister. Oh yeah, it was also the the beaver was the had no idea symbol or something of Canada. I was I was telling this to a friend the other night. I went out with a friend and he was asking how the podcast was going. He says, yeah, Aubrey Beretta brought up Canada, but she didn't give me a shout out. So not going to say your name, friend, but consider this the the shout out for you and for the whole nation of can hello, Canadian friend and all the Canadians and all of our Canadian listeners and readers, because you can be a listener and a reader and clearly I need to brush up on my Canadian Trivia. So for anyone out there who is not aware of what amy does online, do yourself a favor. Go to instagram and follow her at this little...

...miggy. That's M Iggy, really entertaining. I have a love hate relationship with instagram stories. Most of the time I just skip and skip and skip because I like having my inbox, but you are watch amy. Amy's are so at and I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that she's probably listening to this, but I's where. Every time I look at Great Gardis last he entertaining, so entertaining. Go Out. She does some really cool things there. Yeah, thanks again for listening. See you next time.

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