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Accidental Parenting
Accidental Parenting

Episode 8 · 2 years ago

S01E7: Halloween Special

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

All things scary and spooky are discussed, as Aubrey and Col cover the do's and don'ts of celebrating Halloween with kids, as well as their Clown on the Town tradition.

I, like it the spooky intro for ourHalloween episode. I know right had to change it up a little bit do somethinga little bit unique. This is our first major holiday for the the accidentalparenting Pucke. I love Hallowen. It's such a great hallbest. So welcome tothe Halloween edition of accidental parenting. I almost forgot Hor podgastname. It's accidental parents thanks thanks for the reminder, welcome we'regoing to be talking about all things: scary, scarty, cats, scare, tatics tactics, some differenthalloween traditions. When Abr and I were first married- We got so busy withwork at school that I it became difficult to eat breakfast together.You remember this. We were always on the go: Ser oatmell somethin, quick,raising, toast. I always I was raisin. Costco is raising Toyo, which isinteresting me because we can't find it. They don't have it anymore. COSCO hasthe best raisin toast. If you find it, tell us which Calles Itor e and thenyou raise it. Obviously, yes, they don't have it anymore. So if Ime Gon tolet me know if they still have it at yours, I would drive forty five minutes.For that reason, sometimes we would just skip breakfast altogether, but westarted a tradition that we would make breakfast together whether it was forbreakfast or lunch or dinner on Sundays. So that's been everything makingbreakfast every Sunday and it's kind of fun for the kids. We get to go all outwith the kids yeah. This morning we made bagel sandwiches, yeah, bagelsandwiches. I got everything ready. We made breakfast, the kids were loving it,except for one well Pinelpi likes to sleep in Saly she's, a big fan of sleepin general, asleep wheneveryone else, she's been wearing a sleep mask, that'swhat it's called S, probably about three year: She's eleven and she's beenwearing it for the past three years. So this morning paelope is sleepingthrough breakfast and the twins are done eating. Our oldestis done eating and I yell upstairs his say: Peelo be hurry. Do you guys don'teat her? Food hurry come downstairs before they eat your food, and Irealized that I was using a scare tactic. Well, it works Iwei Sa Sef andgot her food, but I think we do that. Often as parents we use scare tacticsor fear- or you know- fear of hey you're- going to have to sit in timeout or you're going to miss out. Definitely we're always threateningthem with something. If I'm in a hurry to leave, I need them to get in the carand they're not coming I'll, say: okay, Bui see later, like I'm going to leavethem here alone, which I never would do. It's not like. You would ever do that,but it works. They Hustle Ino te cockome to get their shoes on and Buckelater I oey belon that I would leaaem wich as Oribiand what these tacticscome down to. Is that we're trying to use them to motivate our children? Thatreminds me when I completed my Undergrad, I did some courses ineducational psychology and one of the...

...classes that I had to go to. We had aguest lecturer who spoke about how students are are motivated, oftentimeas teachers or as parents. We think that kids are lazy or they don't careabout learning o're doing choies, and we don't realize that kids aremotivated th. The lecturers point was that they're motivated, but notnecessarily about the same things were motivated about I it could be for them.Video Games, sleep, food or really anything in life, and it's up to us tofigure out how to tie in those motivaing factors to get them to dostuff and work on that and focus on that intrinsic motivation. It's funny,though, is at the time the lecture was really focusing on thethe need to bring in video games into the classroom to what year was Thi.What video GaAs talking about this was, you know, mid two, thousands we'retalking world of warcraft second life. All of that did he have like a secondlife character. No, he did I actually. So I left I left the the lecture early'cause. I was so annoyed with it, but the lecturer didn't in introducehimself when he began the lacture. He introduced himself as his second lifeCharacteron, which was a a sixteenth level priestess with purplehair. Like you IV Y second Lifete, I have no idea th NT, with no offence toanyone who still plays and is I speaking, Aat you speaking of stillplays. I met a coworker the other day who still plays Pokimongo. Oh Hey, notthat there's anything wrong with, but he started up a group and duringlunch time they do these raids on these like training, centers and gyms. Sothey he's gotten like twenty people to go with him at lunch and they all gettheir Pokimongo n in the clap over Jim and they like do arrayed and startcapturing some Pokis Tatiguess, hey everyone's got to have their thing backto intimidation, ind, fear tactics. It got me thinking, so I found an articlein psychology today from November of two thousand and fifteen. This is KateRoberts PhD and her article is titled Savvy Parenting. She says that someparents believe that intimidation and fear tactics help motivate theirchildren to perform better. This may work in the short term, but itcertainly will not sustain motivation and may eventually create resentmentyeah. The do it or else method doesn't really work and can definitely backfire.Do you have any examples of when that do it, or else you know, has backfiredon you yeah recently m. So the twins just started kindergarten and they havehomework every night, not tens and it's you know it's not terrible, but atfirst they were excited about it and it was fine and then, after a little whilethey were not excited about it and it was harder to motivate them and prettyquickly. I resorted to the well, you just have to do this, do it or else yougo to time out or whatever I D, I should have taken more time to try andfigure out how to make it fun and give them interns of Ommotivation and- and Idid not- I had a mom fail and they...

...fought against it and became reallystubborn, and now it's really hard to get them to do their homework. Tha thathappens. The insitance that I recall was when we were potty training- ouroldest Oh yeah, I'm not very patient with E, I'm general, particularly whenit came to potty training, our oldest, and we didn't even think about doing.You know you do the AMS thing right. That's th, T's, that's huge general,don't know what we were doing. No, we were always total accidental parentingand we got frustrated and it became a control thing and she wanted to controlwhen she went and eventually she didn't want to go at all and it became a a bigpower struggle. We know it's bad to use scare tactics on kids to get themto do stuff, but is it okay to just scare kids? So I did not my parents, I don'tremember them ever intentionally. Scaring me just to be funny, but youwhen we first got married, you would do that. You would like hide around acorner, it was hilierated and I would scream so loud and every time I was soupset, I do it n w. It was not funny for me. I still do it every now andthen Ealy to me. I think you've learned your lesson, but you totally do it tothe kids still yeah. They hate it though Heyli. Yes, there's Never IkeAtine to like it a little bit. I don't know I didn't lite it so entertaining it'skind of Amazdidd, your parent scare, you as a kit yeah. So I think my dadevery time he'd walk out our front door. Our driveway was around the corner tothe left and he would walk outside a turn like you was going to keep walkingto the car and he would just sit there and wait and every time a Yourju. Ihave resired US every sinltime. What about your siblings? Did your siblingsintentionally scare? You, I don't recall specific times when they tri tolike terrorize us, but they definitely use some scare tactics feel, like Iremember of somebody told you you were adopted or som well D, Not that that'sa bad thing, because Athen's great but as kids, do they kind of tease and makefun of each other, and they had told us that we had two older siblings. Sothere were four of us growing up and my older brothers and and sisterthey told this story. I I think it was my ildle brother. She told my sisterand I that we had two older brothers Kip and Carmen and Carmen a boy namedCarmen Yeah. It was Caveron's twin brother, camer, Aharman MHM and they both lived,no carmon lived in Europe with some grandparents that I didn't know aboutand and KIP got kicked out of the House because they were both disobedient andif we didn't shape up, we were GOINGTO end up. liker Sibli telling you ill getrid of you like Kipin Karm. Maybe they were in Cuhoos with my parents. I don'tknow. I doubt that I did read an article that I wantt. I want to talkabout real quick. This is the daily beast: The real life clownscarier than joker that terrorized America's kids. So there's adocumentary, I'm not sure where it's at,...

...but there's a document documentarycalled wrinkles the clown and it's where parents hire a clown, a creepyclown to scare their children s what it's happening in this picture. This ishorrifying. That I'm sure not holding it up on my phone right now wed be clowholding a little girl. I don't know about this it'. I don't know it'sapparently a thing and there's a number that you can call. Maybe we should callus, you call them and th y you hire this clown to scare your children, yeahwrinkles don wrinkles, the clown in theaters October. Fourth, I e for surewhen I see the documentary, but I don't understand anyone would hire that thatheater one that's Atswhy da home. I wonder what he does on Halloween nightlike does he wear the clown costume and just wander around where kids are trick,er treating? Why not scaring people I find iar him to do. Ou clowns are areally tricky thing. In today's Day and age we've got the joker movie, that'sout a air security that was the name of yes it we, we sawthe first oe weseenight. I see ue that on a plane, SI of them clowns are. ArePeople Freak out about clowss you like clowns kid we had so our exdoor neighbors we'vetalked about hem in the past. Great neighbors they've got two little twinboys and Aubri was watching him one day when I got home for work, she wasbabysitting and I got home and one of the twins was a little bit Fussy d, I'mtrying to make him happy and you know cheer 'em up and I start doing thiskind of giggly labehe idnt get him to Lanc to get him to laugh, he's relizeit with a real creepy, laugh yeah. He starts smiling a little bit more andthen I just really get into it. I hyou like clowns little boy just to make me laugh to make ever alotthbabies love their babies, loves and Hih kids loved it and Ow Georgiaevery now and then in her creepering an Lo I she'll say dad. Do the you likeLouns, I don't like shaggy from the SCUBIN. Do you like clown, Scoo, amazing speaking of clowns? We have a very unique. Let's call it a particularset of skills, t's, Halloween tradition when it comes to clouds. We've gotsomething fun that we like to do and this started. When we lived inScottsdale. We had some friends that would do th you've been booed. Youremember that yeah. So the concept behind you've been booed. The Halloweentradition that some people have they get a Halloween treat or goody, andthey they put a sign on it. That says, you've been booed with instructions tomake a copy of the sign, go, get a treat, leave it on someone else'sdoorstep, knock run and it kind of creates the Halloween spirit, thespirit of Halloween, and we did it for friends once and d. We knew they had acamera on their doorstep, so I dressed as a clown with a really creepy clownmask and we dropped off the Gen you've benbooed out that would be funn sat onthe Camerai did a little dance and I thought Ey. This is kind o cool, but in the area that we're at no one reallygot into it that much we did it a few...

...times t e boing, bt Yeah. It was wasn'treally satisfying, and I thought we can do this a little bit better. Wewent to the Roras to Warr Hem and we found somereally creepy old porcelain dolls and painted glownfaces on the paintedcreepy clown faces on the poor, so really scary ones, with big smiles andsharp teeth yeah. It was scary, well we'll post some pictures of the clownAl anyone who's, you know, following aubry or myself on Instagraum, probablyis aware of what we call the clown on the town. So we do. I don't know eightto ten of these. Every Halloween we go get porcelain dolls. We paint up abunch of them with creepy clown faces. We type up a little poem which uses ascare tactic really to get people to participate, the IHA to pass it alongor she's, going to yeah. The idea is n, your sleep she's a she's, a friendlyclown. It's like Annabel, Tha, enabel movie came out after this. She gets Olitte and inspired by that she gets a little restless if she stays at yourhouse more than one night. So you've got one night and time for you to passalong the clown on the town so that she doesn't do anything that untoward yes,exactlye. Let's talk trick or treating at whatage? Do you let your kids pick their own costumes, because we always make them go as wewas it he. Last year we made everyone. Do the the Christmas theme others,Teearl years ago we had a friend had made a Santa and a MSS Claus.Comazingesthey were fantastics and wake the ost dresses Elens, make the girlsdress as ELVs, and they hated it. They were Oky with the Middle Chird lovedthe oldest child, nothing. So she was all right with it. She was a good sportfor us. When do you? Let them choose their costumes? NEVER NOT! Yet. Thisyear we are well last year, O two years ago the twins were Wan and Garth fromwains world, which was fantastic, and that was they were old enough that theywanted to be like a princess and a Knight. But we had I sorry yeah. We hada really good, Halloween heardy to go to with our family and had to show offweight Ad Garth. It's not like I'm not going to. Let you be a princess in thedragon the'rethey're going to have plenty of time. You remember how we gotGeorgia to where that Wuld be okay with it and we called it C coe. I O to be ca cool Guy Asa ye as he love Wi Soro, the glasses. She didn't even need a wayhad the perfect hare, for it. She's got wame milk, garth, Hair Garo, the puserpicture of that S, and what about the age for when it'sokay to let them go trick or treating with friends? Well Eh is too young. Ilet Panelpi go with a friend and her parents and L and couldn't find her for an houror more, and I didn't have a phone or the mom wasn't answering ornoshwaerated. She and her friend got separated from the parents. That's whathappened, and so I didn't know where they were and I'm like combing thestreets walking all over trying to find...

...them Scari. I didn't know about thisbecause I'm usually the one who stays Ho you're home maving at and Ca'T. Iwas I remember, coming back to see if she had come home was like. Did shecome back here and you're like no? And so then I kept looking finally foundthem d they're just trick er treating away well in this year. Our oldest twois thirteen. She wants to go tritre with her friends, which is totally fine.Last year I had a great time, but she wants to go in a different neighborhood.An H Y we've got a big neighborhood right, it's bi, Co, Neighbo andsometime. They read a lot of people come here, lots of people park and dropkids off, and it's just really fun area and Ne Tres to have them trick or treathere r going to another thirteen, but I still twele. I I prefer to her for herto stay in our you know: Radius in the area, so an what age do they are theysupposed to stop trick or treating 'cause she's right on the Birg er asback and forth as to whether or not she's going to Chang e a couple of daysago, she's like I'm, not going to? Definitely I'm not going to today,definitely going to Anne potentially going to next year. Did you hear hersay that yeah it's like yeah, I'm going to go this year, we're already talkingabout going next year too, but I'm not sure and I kind of wanter to decide iton er own like go until you feel awkward. I don't I I remember as a kidyou know, Y you hit a certain age where Oh yeah, I shouldn't be trick ortreating. But I say: Let it kid be a kid and let hem trick or treat as longas they feel comfortable was very different, where I grew up, because youhad to drive a mile from one farm to the next farm, and then your parentswill let you out of the car and you walk up to the door and knock and yetanother example of how Avr and I had very different UPBRIN and it was alwayscold. We hallawaycostumes were totally coate under our princessor. You wouldhave to get a halloween costume. That was like three sizes larger than youneeded ofposte. You know onwotor clothes on underneath the costume, yesand here in Arizona, we're sweating on Halloween, and it can't ac why I'malways dressing as a sexy nurse, because it's too hot to wear anythingthat come there iuse that over and over an oerth its it was warm. I did on oneyear I dressed a Sharcnado with will in a baby carrier wearing a shart costumecoming out of it. It was a Tornado Co. It was a tornado shopon. It was so warma little bit more udnt. I wore it for like three minutes hard to do: I'm abig Fan of the costumes for kids, even when they pick their own costume. Ilike what we're doing with the twins this year. It's it's really like a zipup, Hoodi type costume Goin to be warm nough. Maybe a little bitthey'llsurit'll be worth it for them. As long as they're getting candy they'll beable to survive the heat. What about adults stressing up for Halloween?There are two different answers to that question. First, if you're going to aparty, definitely dress up, go as an adult dress up for Halloween trick ortreating with your kids. Some people do it. I don't, but youknow to each his or her own. What's yourfavorite Halloween costume, you've ever worn, I definitely kiss oh kissas goodkiss. That was, I think that was our best Halloween living in New York CityOctober, thirty first Halloween on it...

...was there Friday or Saturday night. Wewent and saw wheezer in concert it Matin Camp Mattin, Kim opened up asamazing, amazing weezer came out dressed as these giant insects. CA't,remember Thi, so ththey were dressed up like a praying, mantist and Beatles andlike these really cool giant ornate costumes, but it wasn't reallypractical for him because they couldn't play their instruments very well, sothey had to take them off, but we went dressed as Jean simmonds and PaulStanley for kiss and it was EC seven. We did it the following year, four ofus, with a couple of others, Todo all fourriht o. We have been known torepeat Hello Iam, not above recycling Yu as Harowein costom, second favoriteHalloween Costume Miriaci. That was good. I made a Mariaci jacket, we foundsome. I don't know how we stumbled upon these at the thrift store, but theywere men's suit, jackets or sports coats that were used at one point intime for a male flight attendant. So th the waste line was a little bit shorter.It was a little bit higher a little bit more tapered and it was perfect forMariaji t for Oprto, and I found this table runner that had like roses thatwere son. I was able to just sort of cut those out these puffy ro things top. It would have an so we dressed up. We walked down mill, avenue, playingand singing Labamba and a few other cooker or forma performing some sons.It's funny 'cause. I had my Eucaleli with me and as we'd walk by peoplewould say: Oh Ould, you guys know anything and we'd start singn it and itwas pretty amazing, got to be a merry Auchi band for one night. How aboutkids in scary movies? We haven't really let our kids watch any scary movies,I'm trying to think we love scary, moviend yeah and our oldest we'vestarted to let her watch some PG thirteen movies now, but, as I thinkabout it, this isn't the first time she's seen P G. Thirteen movies, Irecall, is Gony's PG thirteen. I don't know. Maybe when she was like three, Iwatched Guanes with her. Ok, it probably isn't PG thirteen, but it'slike you know it's a pretty hard PG as PG movies go. I remember 'cause, Iwatched it when I was young. I remember you being so surprised. I Wa shockedI'm like sh like what a a fla year old and you're, watching gonies with him Yoloved, it sure sure, as we all did at the age offour, but now a scariest thing that I think we've let her seen was probablystranger things. She loved stranger things really got into that. She was itwas. I mean it was pretty scary. Ah, and she remember her saying, the secondseason was scarier, but she still Livs okay with it. She wasn't like reallyscared. As long as she doesn't watch hem when the other kids are around, Ithink I think we're fine yeah, but with t e pg thirteen movies, the oldest, was probably thirteen whenshe started watching hem and now automatically by default. Our MiddleChild is eleven she's starting the Wa...

...marvelotee sea movies. Her other phonewas sure you can watch it too, but we did get to watch for the first time, guardians of theGalaxy Withoutgra kind of find to see it from their perspective through theireyes, but that's not necessarily a scary or a Halloween related movie AlRight. Let's play a game. Okay, Les Dok, So here's the game you're excited aboutthis one. I always am just so. Everyone knows allre really likes to surprise mewith the Games. Sometimes I don't do great with them. The first couple Itold you what it was and then I realized how fun it was to nut thissurprise. Her a little nervous, you don't know. Okay, the Word Association.I struggled with the Word Association yeah. You did allright this one you'regoing to open the Internet and you have to look at Your Open Web pageas webbrowsers and you're going to go back five and you have o day what that oneis n whill. You find that I will tell mine, which I opened right before westarted this and it's kindof funny. So my fifth one is a google shirt searchof where is Charlotte to find out. If Charlotte is an Earth Carlincarolinas,I right you were right. Ie I weout out to Charlo, I think, I'm actually fromNew York once I flew and there was a layover in Charlotte, but I couldn'tremember what sa in te Charlotte several Tim, I knew I knew Iha. So theFifth Tab Open on mine is the top ten mattresses of two thousand and nineteenbest online mattress, no Yat in mattress shopping, Ye best, mattress,online dot, org been mattress of shopping and really thinking about asleep number and and that's not an advertisement. But I'm saying I sleepnumber wants to throw us a bed for free, kingsize, a'Lway, throw that I nowwouldn't say no. I was showing these beds to alre online today and they getpretty pricy yeah. She asked how much they were and I kept looking at all theoptions and it went from two thousand to three thousand to six thousand t,eight thousand and and in the past I think our last time we just bought atCOSCOW, but it's time as a time to get annew bed. Ours have been reallyweirdever since we bought ours, it just wasn't ever Iwa liped, weird everythingfrom Casco is great eccept mattresses D, and you can take that to the bank atCostco. The Raisin bread there is gets to raisabt get rid of matresses fromaccidental parenting. We hope that everyone has a fun, happy and safeHalloween thanks for listening.

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