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Accidental Parenting
Accidental Parenting

Episode 15 · 1 year ago

S01E14: Sideline Dads

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Keeping kids active is no easy task. We discuss the benefits and challenges of sports and after school activities for kids. Col interviews former NFL offensive lineman Mark Asper about his experience growing up playing sports and how he and his wife handle being sideline parents with their own children.

I'm going to apologize to everyoneahead of time. My voice sounds a little bit rascal little bit asa aubree and I went to thefinal Asu football game of the season. Last night. Typically, when I go tothese Games, I'm yelling you're a Yeller, I'm a yeller at the Games when,when the other team has the ball, when our defenseis on the field, you got toyell aloud because it affects how they play it. Does I have an impact onwhether or not the team wins or loses, or at least how well the defense plays,and if they're able to stop, I remember cause you're off that one kicker hetried to. That was all me a field gall, two of them. You were yelling reallyloud and I two of them and after he missed both field goals. I yelled outat the top of my lungs. You had one job one job, and that was me I feel like Ihad an impact at one. Woy abry was texting someone I think it was myfamily, a group text message that we had going through the game saying thatshe couldn't hear anything out of her left ear, because I had been yellingyelling so loud so anyway. My voice is a little bit more raspy today and it'sinteresting that we talk about football because, a littlebit later, we have very special interview with opperious Plesen Maryeahwho, as a former Oregon and N fl football player, Great Guy Yeah, andit's cols first interview. It's kind of Amentas yeah momentous monumental, bothboth all right. What are we have to to? Butwe're going to talk a little bit about yeah, kids and sports. So I'm a strongbeliever that you know our kids can be in one sportat a time like pick volleyball or soccer or Bethmor football, and I willtake you to because it's two practices a week and a game each week and it's alittle and that's multiple kids. So, but I do know there are some parentswho have their kids in multiple yeah like after school activities. I don'tknow how you do that. Did you do sports and after school activities is a kid?What did you do? Yeah it played volleyball and softball and basketball,but all of them- and you had piano to because I councees that aacal activity,but they were all like different times like one would be in the spring and onewas in the fall. You know it was always one thing at a time for sure I had. Iplayed soccer as a Koud growing up and at some point in time my soccerpractices had conflicting time with my piano practice, so I had to give up one and I guessyouever had piano Lesen. Well, any guesses on which one I give up. I have afeeling. I know it was the piano you're, pretty good at socker yeah and wouldn'tsay that, but we say, but I had a last playing soccer as a kid. We had areally good team. I know my brothers played some baseball and soccer. Ithink I may have played teaball I didn't get in baseball. I was more intothe soccer. I did play basketball. My Dad was my coach for basketball for alittle bit for a season or two, and that was interesting. You know, andparents give up a lot to have their kids in all of these sports and Eventsand stuff like your Saturday, is gone because you'R exabeation ough onSaturdays and then weeknights are tough because you're criming and homework andother activities and sports and having to get them to practice. carpools it's.You know it is game changer. When you do have a carpoety, the CARPOL is necessary.Yeah penalope has been in soccer and we've got a good carpool network. Therethat's been very helpful yeah. That makes a big difference for sure,because that the older they get they want to practice two times a week aswell, is' no longer just once a week practice it's. It gets intense right, but it's worthit for sure. Yeah I mean we've seen a huge. We keep telling benebits in ourkids. I mean you see the coordination improved. You see like there's, so somany good infact, socially, you know tthey're interacting is a team ut'sityeah, so yeah. The first thing I was reading about like why to put kids insports and a lot of this, any parent...

...who has their kids ind sports they'reaware of most of these, but the most important, I think, is sports booth,selfesteem right they get more confidente on the field and, as theysee themselves, improve at whatever they're doing, and it's such aconfidence builder. You know it can be hard, though, if you know sometimes a kid will get puton a sports team where they're not winning and that can be hard. Penelopehad a couple of seasons where it was the same team they had had won, reallywell done a great one season and the next season they just did not winanything, and that was really hard for their team and the y really care theyyeah. They really care and then the next season they started winning again.So it was kind of a fluke season. But I know that was a tough time on them and we try to focus on not so much. Youknow the winning aspects, but just playing Wi your hardest, a having funand being naken friends. They really want to win Oh yeah, even even when the the emails that went out to all theparents saying hey, no one keep track of score. There's no winner, there's noloser. This is the early days of soccer. A bunch of younger one of the kids would say: Oh who's,winning and I'd. So I don't know and then some otheir kid would chime and belike. Oh we're, AP five to two Y, a they hav like they. They always co,ther t's, not posted anywhere, but they know yeah and it's hard to the older.They get the more like some girls who are maybe practicing all the time athome or at school. You know there there's a bigger division in the skilllevel yeah. So it's gets trickier. Some of them get better and start playingclub ball and doing on then yeah. You know so an well. I think. That's a bigbig differentiator to is when kids are willing to come home after practicingcontinue to practice, and that's something: We've tried to get our girlsto do, addie with volleyball penelope with soccer. We say: Hey here's, sometools that you have to practice. You know the the trainer right net thingthat yeather thing where they kick the Bal and it comes back to yeah. Thoseare chees that all over I had one of those is a kid and it was amazingsticked it into our front grass in our front lawn and Kit said grouse, Rihe, abird sticked it right into that gross yeah. You know the family graus that wekept in the front yard staked it right in and wherever I kickd the ball. Thatgrouse would follow soon, after just like Mary and her little lamb, yeah. Sothere's another one here that playing sports helps, develop team work andleadership skills. Definitely working toward tomagolls helps kids, developcommunication skills, definitely right yeah for sure it is funny, though, whenwhen they go to the cent of their field, they, the coaches, Oh, who hasn't beena captain. You know so they get to rotate who's captain, but even whenthere isn't an official team leader, you always see that kid who, for lackof a better term, is bossing the other girls around is like hey girls, likeyou know, let's, let's cheer them on, let's be happy: Let's go, let's go movein your positions and there's always one or two of those on the field withthe unofficial, tleaters yeah. They. U Have Leaderships, Gowe wit, say Bossy,we'll, say: Theyre born leaders, yes, and that was bad. I shouldn't have saidbecause it wasn't a reference to girls being gossy. It's all kids yeah everyan osbe wouldn't ed when they're on being a good leadin a good leader yeah,but I think true, it takes skill to figure out how to do that positivelyand in a way, that's just not annoying your team members, yes building them upand yeah helping them. Yeah get excited to work together because there weretimes I've seen times where you've got two leaders on the field and they canstart to argue with each other and kind of m yeah, it's tricky. So also it's anatural stress, reliever. Definitely, okay, right for kids, it's as an adult! You don't always thinkabout kids, having stress and needing to really supit for sure they do rightand sports is definitely a good way for them to let that out in a very healthyway. Well, it's a break from the the regular things in life. It's a breakfrom school. It's a break from homework! Think about recess during a school day.Why I'm a firm believer that those things are necessary to give kids abreak throughout the day and to you know also let teachers give you havejust a moment to catch Ali just to keep...

...hem active like it's just important forkids to stay active, and that's I here on the list too, that it gives them tohelp develop lifelong healthy lifestyles, yeah so enjoying physicalactivity and having it be fun instead of torture yeah. I feel like total sidenote here. I feel like since we've gotten these new microphones. Wetotally sound like one of those NBR podcasts. You know something thatSaturday night live would make fun of well like this. On the last one Inoticed I was way louder, so I'm trying to just go. I just the volume oan shejust Talkin be talkng outer yeah, because if you don't talk, it's yourregular volume, I'm going to be much lotter on this one. So, okay, well anwe'll figure it out. Yes, Ye got some kings to work. Otnow d, The whisper sports are so great for kids, so greatso yeah. Definitely the saying active sing, healthy and then just it's funright. It gives your kid a group to belong to something fun to do. You knowit's just important for them to have healthy outlets things to do that. It'snot just like video games and watching TV, but yyou'll always see thoseparents who take that that level of fun and they go too far with their kids insports they're living vicariously through their kids in sports, and I, inthe interview with mark a little bit later, I tell a story about when I may have gotten myself into a littlehot water on the sideline, with one of the the referees during a sportingevent. But really it wasn't me, it was some other guy yelling at his do thatkind of tents, yelling at his Daughterin, the Gamerun harder runfaster, go after it like just super intense that made all the parents feelawkward and I couldn't help but think wow how hard it must be to be that girl.That daughter, who you know, that's the eidenation Yeh, it's never good enough,so yeah as parents. We do need to encourage that they have fun that theydon't take it too seriously that they don't focus so much in on yeah. We wantthem to be aggressive. We want to go out with them to go out there andchallenge themselves and and and have a good time with that. But Fun is a bigbig key part. Definitely all right! So let's hear the interview all right.Here's mark all right mark welcome to our podcastthanks for having me yeah, we're really excited to have. You mark happened tobe traveling on business in town in Arizona and he stopped by. We went o alittle hike this morning and or this afternoon, and then we had dinner. Yes,we did was beautiful sunset we enjoyed yes, we did. It was not just the two ofus. We also had the twins and Abru is with us as well. So with theseinterviews, we like to begin our interviews with an awkwardly personalquestion, all right. Okay, the question is: What order do you scrub everythingin the shower, like what oner do I scrub everything I shower? You know I'm tall individual. I think I'm drawn tothe mountains and the natural progression of the water cycle. Can Istart high? That's and that's a good answer. You know it starts with a good, a goodlather, handlather I've. I've been privy to something that maybea lot of people haven't had in their live, which is a lot of group showeringplaying college and Professional Sport Beas this I this is a this. The thisinterview is about sports and growing up playing sports. Will Yeah start withthat, so yeah I got to have the experience of a lot of communal showerand- and you know there is sometimes conversation in the showerwith your fellow teammates, yeah and and shower order. Scrub order is anidea that gets brought up Lufaz Rag- oh I'm all about the Lufa straight to thehand. You know straight, you know just barf soap and handss, not good enough.It's not strong enough yeah. Doesn't you need some scrub bout? You need somesome some texture. You know interaction,...

...maybe maybe we're having all of ourlisteners tuned out at this point in time. But that's okay! Sorry, becausewe're entertained by this I've actually started to do a littlesomething it's like when you go through a car wash like an automated car. Washyou've got the guy at front at the front. Who gives you like a air,freshener or wet rag to Draftin said he does little prerents with the bug sprayyeah I've I've started to do like a little prerinsing and like certainareas, just a little bit of soap kind of get that going. Let us sit there fora little bit, come back later, come back later to it and then do the fullwash yeah wow. That was awkward. Okay, so mark is Aubrey's cousin and we getto see each other and hang out at family gatherings. I mentioned earlierthat he's in town for work, but he for a long point in time was an offensivelinemen he played in hi. Did you play aline in high school as well, in high school growing up in South EastIdaho? I got to play everything everything because they're like Hu. Weneed someone who's like six, eight and two hundred and fifty pounds that canplay everyg. Oh mark th, ASER EAD. I was EA fortunate to be you know, lessedwith talents and work habits that I was one of the faster guys on the team andthe whole bit. So it was like yeah. I got to play everything never got nevercame off the field it was fun was that was that a scenario where you saidcoach? I want to play this or they just put you in because they just they justplugged me in because before high school it was a situation where Iplayed what's called know, grid kid football 's. What it's called in SouthEast, Tida Hope, P wee or popwornor yeah whatever, and in that League in Idaho Falls. If youwaded, you are certain size you had to be, you would be exed out. You get abig black x on your helmet and you okay offensive line only if okay, so my experience from the fourth grade tothe eighth grade was only offensive line. I didn't play defense, I didn'tget to care the ball. I didn't get that so some of the nuances and the the I guess, tenacity or the th teamplayer attitude that it takes to be an offensive. Lineman sure at a youngerage really got ingrained to me because that's all I was allowed to play wellyou're right, there's not a lot of recognition in being an offensive.LINEMENT! No and but you learn to celebrate through theaccomplishments of your of your team. Yeah quarterback has susess theoffensehassices you're running back whatever firser. So, as a younger player, I got really youknow, content with just doing whatever coach said like yeah, and so when I gotinto high school and there were no longer those limitations, they werelike hey. Do you want to do this and I was like yeah. You want to do this I'dbe like yeah gont to do this yeah willing to try anything sure, that'sawesome, but as I got toward my junior and like senior year of high school, Ihad some coaches that had played some somesome college ball and theyrecognized that my skill set would probably translate best to offensiveline or at that next level, the negk level, so they kind of okay. Let's,let's focus this in a little bit get some actual. You know like legitfootage, not just you barreling through people as a you know, as a running backor se, you did play running back hea at one point yeah so, but could they eventackle you yeah? You know I wasn't Teat Agil or okay, they would cut my feetout or- or you know, just enough people tackling the knees you enayeah eveal.You tip over wow all right, so, as I mentioned, andas we just described mark played football, he also played offensive linefor Orgon Yep, O Nam, so Oregon ducks you were there. What years were youthere? Two Thousand and seven to two thousand and eleven okay, seven toeleven? That was the glory days of organ that were now beginning to callthem yeah the little bit of the Golden Age, where there was kind of theascension to national recognition. Chip...

Kelly was his first spring. There wasmy first spring there, okay, the offensive coordinator and brought thefast pace, Razel Dazilloffas, that kind of organ got known for with under hisTutelidge and yeah. We had that you kind of rise, the national prominencewent to a couple of Rosebolls Wen national championship. Had A lot of funbeat areas on a stayed a few times right, which it's a coincidential that thisweekend, Arizona State just beat just beat Oregon. That's that's anotherstory. So after your time at Oregon, you went to the NFL Yep I got draftedby the Buffalo Bills in the sixth round and then spent the next four years as Jack of all trades. You know verysimilar situation, I got to the bills and they said Hav you ever playedcenter. I said no, they said Wuld you like to learn to play center. I saidsure why not yeah, so they taught me to play center I'd, Played Guard andtackle in college. So that made me very versatile. I could play all threepositions, so it made me terrific trade bait. Basically, so myNFL career, I went from the Buffalo Bills, I got traded to the Minnesota,ikings traded to the Jacksonville Jag wires and then back to the buffalobills and then to the New York giants and then to the Denver, Broncos andthen to the Miami Dolphins and then finished out with the New England,Patriots, okay, so eight teams, if you count the billstwice ind four years, so do you? Do you have a favorite NFL team for different reasons? You know I was in the city of Buffalo. Thelongest a to know the fan base, yeah bills, Mafia and those you know,there's just crazy, loyal fun. People they've been through a lot, and youknow very blue callar. Very they love their football and they love their team.So that was a lot of fun. The Minnesota Vikings took the best care of like theplayers as far as like making sure your family was taking careof amenities making sure you knew like you know, daycare doc, petowpediatricians. They had like a welcome to town like book like wow. Give thisto your wife. This is local, elementaries doit's, amazing yeah. Theywere like we're. GOINGTO try to help the transition as much as possible.Yeah realize how that's tough it's a hard lifestyle tramatic, that is for afan, EAH! No, that's cool, and you know as many people as people hate a lot ofpeople dislike the patriotsbecause they've been so good for so long, butsure they were them. They win for a reason. I'd say he could. They werevery well run. Well, coach, well, coach, yeah! It was a lot of fun to be there.Yeah, that's cool! So there are some things that I don'tknow about you and I'm going to make some assumptions, and these are goingto be quick fire. I'm going to make an assumption, and you tell me if I'mright or wrong, and then you say the right answer: Okay, so your first jobbigo tires. No, no, no first job was a hydrotubularredistribution engineer wow, which in the great state of Idaho, is referredto as pipe moving. Okay, perfect in the fields, te Olt all right, moving,moving sprinkler, Pipe Han line, sprinkler pipe. When I was thirteen andfourteen years old, did you get paid for that per pipe? You got depending on thefarmer. You get anywhere from ten cents to twenty five cents, a pipe okay, allright, very good, your first car El Camino! No, no, you didn't have a Catrack, Ididn't have the contract shoot. I was envious of them. I thought thatwas a an innovation well ahead of its time. Well, then, now we have thetesslet truck, which is pretty much what I dew catrack pretty much. It'sgot a little more. We called it here. First Yeah. No, I drove A, I guess: Technicaly. The firsttechnically was a chevy spectrum, but that even know what a spectrum is,nobody does and it only it got me to and from thethe the fields to move sprinkler pipe,...

...and so I don't even know it that onecounts, but so I always claim the Dodge Omni, whichwas it my. I don't even know what that is. It's very similar to the voltwagonrabbit. Okay, that's pretty stlick dodge only made the Omni for a coupleof years. It was a hatchback, it was yeah, stick shift. It was really goodgas moze. I was a. He was a cool car yeah, that's like e. We Abr and I weredriving the other night and we saw an old old smobile and in it it was fullof these teenagers, and I thought that's like the perfect teenage car.You know their parents bottled off of some grandma or it was their grandmasfor several years. She's moved on from that vehicle for one way or another,and now it's the teenager. That's that's what a lot of people's first carwas in Idaho right. Is that hand me down? My second car was an OldsmobileRoyal Tru tofor Roya with cheese, and then it was funny. I when I went to college,I was driving a Buick Park Avenue, okay and I loved it because o the Front seats,the back seats, all seats were like a couch. Oh yeah, it's like a Reclin,it's like a lazy boy recliner and it was the Oltra, so it had a turbocharger in it. So, okay, I had like some zip and everything I loved thatcar first date, proy a second date. With my what then became my wife, shesaid. Is this your car and I said Yeah, she said Oh and I was like what do youlike? Whose car did you think this? Was She thought she said? I don't know Ithought. Maybe you were borrowing it from your grandma that Soun Liki lovethat I love that okay, one more thing O to I've got two more items here and Ishould know the answer to this. I'm really embarrassed that I don't Abri,wouldn't tell me the answer. You have two brothers and four sisters, closetwo brothers, three sisters, two brothers, three sisters. I added asister there, so two brothers, three sisters, so three and three Al Together:Five Sibling, six total and your favorite candy bar is snickers. No, it's it's changes from time to time,but the what it's become more as of late is thealmond joy, because it is the discarded candy of all Candies Yeah as the dad ofthe and the responsible cleaner of up of all thing. Yeah, I end up with. Oh,nobody wants his almonjoy. Well bottoms up. It's not like it'd, be my firstchoice, but still it's really good yep yeah and you like I'lm enjoy. So if youhad a choice, I'll enjoy your mounts, because the mound is the dark chokabut,the dark chocolate with Ne One wit, Lik, no and tellmen yeah, the old commercial is sometimes youfeel like an that. Sometimes you don't imm anjoys have nuts mounds don't so,as sometimes you feel like et mut and sometimes yeah exactly so it to me. therethere they're one an thesame, equal they're, both Discardoi, would say: I'm enjoyed like or Jus Os.This HAV coking it in it yeah sure, yeah yeah, you don't you, don't see themound as often its so we went hiking this afternoon. Wetook the twins with us di. You ever take your kids hiking. We did for mybirthday a couple weeks back, we went to snow, qualme falls it's outside ofSeattle and they have an upper falls and with the viewpoint, and then theyhave a lower viewpoint. Okay and you have to hike that's about alittle overhalf a mile, but it's is it paved? No, it's! No! It it's groomed, trail, okay,but it's it's up and down like it switches back, but it's some prettysteep switch back a yeah. The way down was all fun and games, everybody had awalking stick and it was like. Oh, this is great and we got down there to thebottom and my wife and I started obut hey. If you get all these people backto the top of the hill, where the car is parting and there's and we startedto like game plan like okay, do we need to have one of us run up the hill, get the car and findaway because there was a lower parking lot that we discoverd sterry er downthere o like there is a road that gets...

...in here some way. Somehow do we need toget the car drive it back Uhuh, but we took courage from seeing on our waydown. We saw other parents bringing similar aged kids up and you've gotfour kids. Five five. You have five kids, four pregnancies: Five kittos,that's right! The twin! We got twins, okay, right, okay, that's right, and sowe took courage from that and we saw some other people. You Know Tha. Youknow starting back up the trail with similar age, kids and we're like we can do this. Let's you know, it'llbe good for our kids, thatd Huh, and and we did, we had them- hide back upthat trail and it. So it wasn't as long as this desert hike that we just took,but it was. It was straight up in straight down and did they all actuallyhike, or did you end up hefting them out like we had to with will andGeorgia a little bit. There was some negotiation and some small spurtsof carryingdragging yeah. They did prettygood. We found that with our kids, if we have them look for rocks that areshaped like hearts, that kind of keeps them going. Yeah we've also put Pennipennies out on the trail like little nickels coins. One time we had it was aprobably a paso or some sort of Mexican currency, and that was like the topwhen they really wanted to fine that so wll send the older girls ahead, hidingpennies and then little ones are like searching. Looking all over helps alittle bit, but that's great idea. It's really hard to get kids die. So it'srough with kids. I applaude you R for taking kids hiking. So back to thissports issue, you mentioned that you were playingplaying Oline at a very young age. Fourth grade to eighth grade eighthgrade: How how old were you when you first started playing football? FourthGrade, so it was hand eleven, and at that point in time, was it like theflag football or was it all full pads, PABORNA foll, tilt, Theyo the flagfootball phenomenon, hadn't hit Idaho, South East Didaho? Yet, okay, I havenephews- and you know friends of my kids of my friends in the area thatthere's now a flag football. You know it's oganization and they start doingit. Yeah really really young over there. But when I was there, it was grid kidcontact football. Fourth, fourth grade was when you started any other sportsyeah. I remember seeing you play basketball in high school. I went toone of Your High School Basketball Games. You Mak was you probably don'tremember me, but I remember you yeah. I I was fortunate to have a mother who lovedsports and all things that I feel like sports can teach people. She also was abeliever in if you're involved in sports, you don't have time or energyto get into Goden to travel sure. So my older siblings, my older sisters, more than my brothers,were phenomenal athletes. My older sisters, Genellan Karen. I think theygot like female athlete of the year. Okay, we're multi sport athletes yeahmy sister Geel competed in like the junior Olympics, one time and you knowsprinting and stuff they were you know they a sports were was in the family,like everybody wanted to do it and stuff, I just being the baby of thefamily. I was the benefactor of mom and dad having more time and a little moreresources to put me into more things, yeah and then so I started out yeah,very young, doing basketball and soccer, and I remember my soccer coach isalways telling me you're, going to be you're goingnto be realygood atfootball someday. Just just hang on for that, because you couldn't play foralfor fourth grade yeah, just just got Ta Coun, just just hang on that'll comeyou'll, be get that, oh, my goodness, ecause I just mo over those poor littlekids that were my age, that's Hilarious! So you mentioned that your siblings allplayed sports. Did your parents go to all of the sporting events yep everysingle one, or I mean as much as they possibly could? They went to everythingyeah and in high school. It was really unique...

...blessing that my mom and dad both droveschool bus for the school district that we, my sister and I attended, and sothey would need somebody to dri like for away games. They would needsomebody to drive the team to the Games on the you know the school bus and myparents would you know they'd been doing it long enough that they had theseniority. Yeah and people were like. Oh Yeah, you're. You know your kids areon the team, so it's awesome. They would get. Basically they wul get paid.They get paid to go. U Drive the team to the game. Ind The school buat'sbeautiful some of those far out. You Know Long Long, Road Games. It would bevery, very few parents in the crowd and mit be one of them. That's awesome!That's great! So you've got five kids. The youngest twins are three YEP twinsor three, and then we have a five year old and eight year old and a ten yearold, five, eight and ten do any of your kids play sports we've gotten the olderto well. The older three we've tried outsome of the some sports we've done. Tri that tried out some. That meansnothing's quite sticking. Yet is that tried? Because we haven't beenconsistent with any of them? So I say s tri, because we didn't do we haven'tdone like multiple seasons, Toa, socker or moltiple seasons of basketball,partly because we've we've moved around because of one like the NFL, like Imoved around a bunch, so we never got. We never felt comfortable. You knowpaying for a season of little little girl soccer and then wellguess what daddy got cut n dreaded. So yeah keep the seventy five dollars anTeso see you later yeah, so Wev put it off a little bit for that, but they'vethey've done soccer, they've done basketball, they've done like dance andballet, and you know some of those tap and some of the stuff and yeah. It's been, it's been a lot offun and I assume you try to attend as many of their events yep as you can yep.Is it hard watching someone else? Have you coached your kids at all? I haven'tcoached them yea. Is it hard watching someone else coach them? Sometimes I try it's. I I'd say it's harder for my wifethan it is for me: Okay, I've. I can see that with Michelle yeah she'sshe's, one she's very Mama BarUhuh and she sheher her experience growing up. Shedid sports as well, but not not like school sponsored sports, notorganized team port. She did a lot of like rexports, a D and stuff she did play soccer in high school, buther so her dad was her coach most of her growing up yeah d. So she has a lotof you know very hands on coaching, verydirect and so s. She has like this this like standard that she expects. Youknow she wants. Our kids share. You know reflect and, like you K, ow your areflection of the family and yeah, you know you go out there and youink Yobest and hustle and effort and all those things and I'm much more laidback about it like you know what, if they're passionate about having fungood and I've, seen enough people that, like have the gift or have the talentor have you know that, have it and I'm like, if you bless their hearts, ifthey don't have it, you can't coach it into sure yeah. So I feel, like youknow, if my kids want to do it, I'm all I'll be there and I'm super supportiveof it. But I'm not like yeah, I'm not trying to live by cariousy through mykid or want them to like go go crazy. So so, back to this Michele scenaro hasshe ever gotten in trouble with being to she. Alsgo kicked out of a gamereally yeah, because it was this. It was the first year they have beenplaying there playing basketball and it was advertised as a developmentalleague, okay, so supposed to be because it was the first year they'de beenplaying. They were in like the first grade and third grade. I think, and it wassupposed to be yeah, they kept score, but there was no like tournament at theend of the EOR, so Wen Mossas didn't matter yeah and there were referees onthe court that were supposed to like...

...stop play for like fouls and likeexplain. Okay, you can dribble, but not it'Snot, Se Shart again at supposed tobe teaching and the first couple of games were thatway. But then parents and and some of the coaches gottheir competitive nature came out. Ankay wanted their little susie to be.You go get the ball yeah but harder. I said, Youd be more agguessive. Theywanted them to be more competitive, yeah, which is natural part of sports.I get that to, but it's also like the rules are set out for this league to bethis. If you want your kid to be Compessi in Tructionnd, all yeais overis over there. So go put your kid in that, if you think she's that great andgo for it yeah so as time went on there were, there weretwo factions of parents, the ere, the parents that are like you know it wasalmost like. Well, natural selection, you know well, just the strongest willsurvive an there were the group that were like well, this is supposed to bethis way. My wife was a this is this is supposed to be this way type of Gal. She was trying to communicate that to areferee. She didn't receive the email, because I guess I didn't tell her aboutit, but there had been an email sent out to all parents addressing thatissue. Please don't adplease, don't confront the ESHALS, don't talk, O theofficials. If you have an issue, we a the correct channel, was to talk to thecoach Yeah. The coach was then addressed the official, so she wasdirecting her comment directly to an official who was not dute was not was not lookingout for her. Her daughter, who was in my mife's opinion, was being unfairlytreated sure and she was just telling this Guy Hey. I think you know this andthis and this and one of the natural selection Haren saidhey you're not supposed to be talking to the rest. Then my wife snapped on her was like nI'm trying to make this better. I'm trying to make ot a lite little bit,yeah and then Ityou know it rose, and I wasn't eventhere. That was the crazest thing. I wasn't Ini, so this is aone. It's allyour fault, because you didn't send her Ne Nama, Anto you're, not even there tosay, hey the baby yeah we can't Talkye didn't mention this o Eterinand Hsoitwent it wet, it escalated and then deescalated pretty quickly and thecoach was in the coach came and told my wife Hey. If you do that again, they'regoing to godown so ohthat's amazing. I think this is whyMichele and I get along so ell, because that's totally how I am I've hadseveral soccer games where I didn't almost get kicked out, but Iknow how to just you know: Jab other people, so they almost get kicked out.Hu. I had one, it was just last season and it was a guide next to me or behind uswho was shouting stuff and we were all kind of making fun of the fact that hesshouting stuff at the girls, because is eur ten year old girl eleven year oldgirls, Sur and the reft stops the game and and she's like hey one more wordout of you and it's the middle of the day and wearing my sunglasses and Icouldn't and she was wearing songlasses to, and I couldn't tell if she waslooking at me or anyone else. So I thi him and I'm like wait a seck. Are youtalking to me because it's that guy- and I was pointed together anyway- Itwas a mess, not the only experience that we've had almost getting out of agame with with panelopy but yeah. It's hard to let go a little bit. I have totell myself when I go to these Games, I just have to cheer and be supportiveand ensure that they have fun yeah and not yell at them to run faster, runharder, be more aggressive. I just can't do it aca all right, so you alsodid ball room dancing, theater. I did YEPand that was all throughout high school. Correct Y. When obry told me that shesaid she said, don't you remember, we went to one of his shows. We went tofiddler on the roof and I was like no, that must have been some other guy, thejuer yeah it was yeah. Apparently I wasn't in the picture Ye for fiddler onthe roof. Our last episode was about Board Games and Card Games mark. What'syour favorite game to play with your kids?...

It'Si, don't remember, t e our favoritegame to play right now. I don't remember what it is: Bananza,that's what itthat's right: Bananza, Hel, Bonanza and you're a bean farmer-and you have these rows of beans and you collect beans that are various. You know rarity and value and the moreyou collect the more coins you collect a harvest time. It's like the farminggame, but less despair. The farming game which ovrey brought up in the lastepisode, Let's despair when the frost hits and kills your fruit crop that you were backingon or you misse the third harvest and you're, like you know, let's despair,because you always get to Hart, you can harvest whenever you want and there'sless you know, and it's we play a very open and loose trading system where weyou know we try to. You know we help each other out. Well, I know you needthis, this one's okay, you know it's less, it's instructional, it's lessaggressive! I grew up with, like you know, Abri the theceivers blood that runs through the veins of some of us is very competitive.Games are serious. Theyre serious. I've had to really dial that back since Igot married to keep peace in my home, that's fair because she doesn't, mywife doesn't want to play if it gets to be competitive. Well, that's what I sayif you guys are going to fight I'm not going to play. Yeah and kind offighting is a part of game playhang. When it comes to the ceavers a littlebit it, it's not a bad way. It's you know they get over it. It's not likeanyone carries a grudge, but O can get tet o to to Te ceivers line. I thinkit's part of the game, yeah, the the maybe the fear, the competitive Nassthat you can outlookan out. You can outsych your opponent when you knowokay, this person is intense. If I'm not on my game. They're going to eat mealive and having that you know that that doubt in your mind, will make youyou know in a key moment. I think they think Oh, I'm GOINNA get thim becauseyeah, you know it's all part of the game, the mental, the mental side of it.That's all my wife when you start to get when you start to get two gamesy likeif you count cards or you use like strategy or like manipulate somebodyyeah, she catches you're, doing it. She's like okay. Well, I'm dill funanymore, like if you want to do if you want to win that bad yeah, you win andshe walks away like when I'll play games. I'll like I'll. Try to remember.Okay, have all the aces been played like. I try to remember that, but it'snot like I'm trying to sabotage someone yeah well was it was. I think it not toderail too much, but I think it alvers reverts back to at least when I wasgrowing up at family reunions with the CEIVERS. There was like an adult game table and a kid gametable yeah, and if you wanted to play with the adults you had to be able tocount cards, you had yea able to you got to be legit, you had to be able tohold your own yeah and if you threw your hat in the rink and you were likeHey Grandpa cand, I you know kind f play with you and you like went inthere and if you mess up and do it, he was like yeah get out of here, yeah. No,I get that there. There are still still still some games that I refuse to learnhow to play with ovry's family. Just so I don't get in one of the scenariosright. It's pretty intense. All right, so t wrap this up. We're going to playKicka, quick game. We've got a basket all hoop set up right there, okay andwe're going to time each other. We've got fifteen seconds to see how manyshots we can make from where we're sitting. Okay. Okay, so I have big Plethera Apu, a pletheras, somemight say of Bals, and I'm going to start my timer up on my phone. Let's see fifteen seconds and I'll time you and then you can teldme all right, ready go he's got one in Wow Holy Ki. He missedone. So one still what up two three three...

Iam all right so mark has completed hisbasketball task. He made three baskets and I should point out that none ofthese balls are the same size, shape, weight or texture, which is not helpingthe game. But you have your timer up, Imerea, all right, you get tocommentary. Well, I make a break three baskets in fifteen seconds. Tell mewhen ready set, go. FC Barlona is AMIS. The tew toyis Amiss Baketball is in thesmaller basketballs out. Totoys Outi made one one. So it's obvious that mark is amuch better athlete than I am superior in in basketball and football skillsweeded odn, yes for sure wel. Mark thanks for joining is for the podcast.That was a lot of fun, yeah, absolutely all right, anytime, seeo great job AB. How does El Your firstinterview? It feels really good to get out of the way it's funny. It's comicalhow different my voice was at the start of this podcast and I'm like talkinglike an NPR podcaster versus when I started interviewing mark and as okayaw's it going, but that football game really took it out of me last night, soI apologize. It was like a EGHTPM game. Yeah until mid, we got home at likeTwelv thrn Ealy, five yeah it was it was. It was intense. So I apologize toour listeners for my lack of energy in the early portion of this pot, Waa thatthe basketball game you guys did at the end. I wish it were like a video I wantto see like I want to see that happening. You know your Coi was soawkward. It was so awfootballs I collected were like Cushba. They werall random sizes. It was really like. I was throwing the ball and it was thethe hoop was hanging on the back of my door here in the office, and I washitting like the doorhandall like I was so far off on so many of theshoeristhing we far off. It's your Lod, the better vide, it's better that thatwas not on video. Well, you did a great job good job mark, thanks for being onour yeah t was fun to have that fun. All right, we'l see O guys next time.

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