Accidental Parenting
Accidental Parenting

Episode 14 · 1 year ago

S01E13: Thanksgiving 2019


Col tells us about his crazy dream where Aubrey had another baby. Aubrey and Col discuss their Thanksgiving memories and ideas for family Thanksgiving traditions. Follow us @accidentparenting on Instagram for awkward Thanksgiving photos.

The other night I had the craziestdream. I woke up in a panic because I couldn't think of a name for our fifthchild, which we don't have. We only have four kids, but in this dream, Aubri wasn't feeling well. She was sickand I had to take her to the hospital she hade. These stomach pains and onething led to another and they delivered a little tiny baby and I e decided onthe name. Did I tell you that part? I'm really curious about the one thing ledto another like it was just like. Oh look, you're pregnant. I was in thewees come in here and let's deliver the baby. I think you should explain youwere the one who was who is pregnant and didn't know about us? No. I was in the waiting room, so Idon't know what one thing led to another. We just came out and we'relike yeah came out and it was like here's, your baby girl, little babygirl, and I think we decided in my dream, on the name MIRA for a littlemiracle Baby Meracall, because scientifically it should be impossiblefor us to have more to Ye cergicaly impossible by it. You never know never know Myra could bewaiting just waiting. It's funny. 'cause of the same night, I had anightmare that you shaved your beard and your head, and I wasn't real happyabout it. You liked the beard- and I like the hair on your head, I told-will to go into the other room to go into the room, the other night and andsay: Hey Mom. I Want Dad to shave his entire beard and leave his moustache.Did he did he come into Ih and yeah? I wasn't real happy about. U. You know, Ihate a mustache. I think you look so low Tom Sellick. That's not a goodthing, in my opinion, at's anyway, welcome to the Thinksdi thanksviving thanks, giving addition of theaccidental parenting pod gast. So we're trying out some new things with somenew microphones if it sounds a little bit different or if it sounds horrible,I apologize playing around with the mixes, but hopefully hopefully thisrecording sounds good enough. Yeah happy Thanksgiving everybody. Yes, weare so thankful, aren't we. We are so thankful- and this is the first timethat we're recording a podcast and then immediately publishing it. Usuallywe're like okay, Wel H, drop that in a week on myy day O we are Ablishgyeah,I'm excited about it and we were looking up uh somet the importance ofhaving traditions, thanksciing traditions and sort of thinking aboutsome of our own traditions. So when we, when I was a kid for Thanksgiving, weof course we always had a big Thanksgiving dinner and we would oftengo to my grandma lovas lots of cousins there and it was just so fun to hangout with lots of family members. Of course, we always played games, and Iremember there was like the adult table. You could play games if you were oldenough and then like kids games separately, and it was so exciting tofinally be old enough to play games with the adults. So in an episode thatwe have not yet released, we actually... about being invited to the exadult game table. Oh that's right! Yeah, my cousin Mar Min. I all pitch thisimin episode we're going to drop it on Moon Day today's Thursday on Monday,and that is our interview with Mark Abbrys, cousin, former NFL player andplayer for the Oregon Ducks, and he talks about being invited to the adulttable and if you mess up at the adult table back to the kids, stable back tothe kids Otaly. So what do you guys do on Thanksgiving?What was your you know? We, Turkey bowl, was always a a big thinglike playing football on Thanksgiving morning. All the guys whoud go out andplay football with a big group of how old did you have to be to be able to goand do the Turk there was. You know same thing: There was like the kidsfield and then there was the adults field. I don't remember when that tranpWat en when dependent on your scill level, I was always really good, butfootball, so they just Gran. Obviously wanted me on five years old Yoare inthere with the adult a'll star I'll star, but the older I get the more. Irealize that it's not fun to be really really sore all thanksgiving, so Istopped playing football, and this morning we played volleyball. So Iguess that's our new Thanksgiving tradition, yeah. We went and playvolleyball with some friends which was really fun, but we didn't see that longecause we wanted to come back and spend with our Shafamiyeah. We got someMcDonalds, so he got take out McDonalds and brought it back to r our kids forbreakfast, they loved n. She could have seen the look that I gave call. I justgave him a look like whe. Are you telling Pootle we ate it? I have noshame t we eat at McDonald's, maybe three times a year and so si like whyyou telle people. We went to McDonald's it make it sound like we go toMcDonalds all the time I mean, but I just said we don't. We only gothere three time a year, and now Thanksgiving is one of those times. I Iwas thinking about this, the other day about Thanksgiving traditions, and Iwoke up recalling as a kid. I was dressed up like a pilgpilgrim and I know a lot of kids kindereners. First first graders theydo this in school. They have these pageants, where they dress up aspilgrims, but for some reason I recalled my entire family dressing up.So I sent a text message out to my siblings, saying: Hey, does anyone remember this?Or was it just me that has this memory and they're like? No, I don't know whatyou're talking about my mom chimed in and she said Yeah you did. You had alittle program when you were in kindergarten and she had made a littlewhite collar and a little bow and a pilgrim hat that I ended up wearing toschool. Please tell me: I have a picture. Oh I've got a picture. I willbe hearsting to take sure, but where the story turns a little bitis I I send the picture to my siblings and everyone. You know sent theirmemories of of Thanksgiving pictures from when they were growing up and mydad texted me separate. Did I tell you, did I tell you, I don't think so, so hetexts me separatin. He says Oh yeah. I remember that day really. Well, I tookyou to a Phoenix son's basketball game that night and you insisted on dressinglike a pilgrim. So here I um...

...kindergarten coal, dressed as a pilgrimat a Phoenix Sun's basketball game walking around and loving all theattention. I love how some, how it changed in yourmind, to your whole family dress as pilgrims like. Well, how you rememberit that way. I I think memories tend to do that. Try to make it not look as embarrassing as itWasme, but he he said that we got plenty of attention. Ot, the basketballcan C. only imagine someone SMH said something about my dimples and I don'tknow, get simple. So Weha have some they're alittle bit covered by the beard, but they still ethey're still there. Yes,we're gon to talk about traditions and the importance of having traditions forkids right. It's really it's incredibly valuable for kids to have traditions.We're going to talk about Wy, so part of it is that traditions are part ofwhat forms the structure and foundation of our society and also of our families.They ere mind as our history and how it defines our past and shapes our cultureright. So we found an article that was. It gave seven reasons why traditionsare so important, so you want to tell us about the first one called yes, I'mcooking on the article right, okay! Well, I've got it right here. It's justthat tradition contributes a sense of comfort and belonging, so, whetheryou're talking about your family right, if you have these family traditions onThanksgiving, for example, you feel like you belong. You feel like you're,a part of your extended family if you get together with extended family andthere's a a real sense of comfort to that for kids. Well, I I like this ideaUm. I guess we should probably tell thestory about why I was convinced to have a third child. Oh Yeah, good idea, yeahhas to do with Thanksgiving. It has to do Thanksgiving has to do withtradition. So at this point in time it was about six years. It was six yearsago I was still teaching. I was teaching it basis in Scottsdale SixthGrade, U S history and I had one of the most painful assignments as a teacherlunch duty and it was miserable sorry for any any listeners who here, sixth,graders or former students, but lensh duty is, is not fun. You stand thereand try to keep a hundred and fifty six graders from acting up. So I'm standingthere with the other teacher on duty and knowing that Thanksgiving is comingup. I'm making small talk- and I say hey tell me what Thanksgiving Pansa,what are you doing for Thanksgiving and she said? Oh, you know. I've got twokids they're older they're, both spread across the country. They were going tocome to town, but now they're. Not so I'm just you know, hanging out, it'sjust going to be a regular day and I thought to myself: Well, that's no funholidays Thanksgiving, it's all about family, it's all coming together andspending time together. So I immediately called AUBRIAP who had beentrying to convince me for some time that we need to have a third child yeahfor six years. I was ready right after we hadpanalpiar next sh new baby thank ext,... I called her up. I said all right:LET'S DO IT! Let's, let's go for a third and three became four Bu. I wouldn't getone free, Wedi H, that's right! It was funny 'cause right when we found at Iwas pregnant. I was like let's just sort of be open to having a fourthchild. o Rs make a six year gap, Battanin Penelope, an next baby, and hewas like absolutely H. There's no way we're going to have four kids and then wit, joke's on me, okay. The secondthing this article talked about was that Um traditions reinforce valuesright, such as faith, integrity, good education, personal responsibility andthe value of being selfless. So there are a lot of things you can do as afamily um on thanksgiving. You can serve right. There are a lot ofdifferent food banks, rer SERV thanksgiving meal to those inneed. Youknow I've often thought that would be a really fun activity instead or may bein addition to doing a Thanksgiving meal, but instead of going all out oncooking all day for a Thanksgiving meal, potentially doing a light Thanksgivingmeal and then spending the day, a food bank serving meals to those inneed. Ithought that would be pretty cool, yeah, definitely and ther. There are a lot ofother service projects. You can do too if you're not able to to actually gosomewhere Um, for example. I was talking to someone this week. She shewent and bought a bunch of hygiene items to have her nieces and nephews,put together to do hygiene kits for the homeless and to have to pass out, andthen I was talking to your mom. She they do a camp t Christmas and have allthe cousins over there Honho Christmas talk. No Christmas talk, let thepilgroms have their lass, but it's this weekend, son at the end of November,and she planned a service project like that for all of the cousins to do,which is awesome to to do something like that around Thanksgiving time toto be selfless to think about others and try to get back yeah. I think Ithink a really good idea around Thanksgiving is by showing thanks yougive or, or you serve others and that's a great way, to show thanks gratitudeand appreciation. Definitely exactly so then traditions. They provide a form toshowcase role, models and celebrate things that really matter in life. So alot of the holidays. We have right we're celebrating people, we shouldlook up to and it's a good chance to remember people from our history whoare role models that we would want to be more like yeah yeah. I like thatallright next, one tradition offers a chance to say thank you for thecontribution someone has made. This is similar like not only are we thinkingabout these role models, but we're taking that chance to to do somethingthat shows our thanks. Well, then, it doesn't even have to be a thank you tothose role models. It can be. Thank you to those people in our lives. Um. Ihave been sending out Tex message, though, text messages the last coupleof days: People, Friends, family people in my work network and just Kindo,saying hey, you know I don't offer gratitude enough, but it was kindofnice to sit down and even a text message. That's no commitment. It's lowpressure. People can return it or to respond to it or not, but just hey. Idon't say thank you enough, and I wanted to express my gratitude sothanks for, for all the support and... that you've been in my life, yeahfor sure it doesn't have to be role models from history. It's theredefinitely are role models in our own lives, people. We know personally thatwe should take those opportunities to think them for the example they are tous yeah for sure so also Um tradition helps us to celebrate diversity andunite as a country. So yeah, it's Nice, that a lot of our holidays. You knowwe're thinking about the diversity, at least that we have here in the UnitedStates and celebrating all the different people and backgrounds thateveryone has and reall uniting as a country and recognizing that you knowwe may have our differences, but also we're a lot a like, and we have thesame value. Yeah Thanksgiving S is an interesting holiday right. It could bepolitically devisive if, if we let it, but I like that, almost everyone in theUnited States celebrates Thanksgiving as a coming together, not a time to bedevisive, because there were definitely devisive moments in history, especiallythe history around the pilgrims and the natives like that can get a little bittumultuous. But the idea of just coming together and putting those thingsbehind us or to the side and appreciating each other and you knowcelebrating together as big yeah, definitely and then the last one thatthis article shared at least, was just talking about M. taking that time formeaningfull of reflection, pausing and and really thinking about, what's important in your life. Whatyou're thankful for on Thanksgiving at least- and we found an article fourteencreative Thanksgiving traditions for kids, there's so many things that youcan do with your kids to help them have that reflection beyond like paintingthe hand Turkey. That is that in the list I mean there are definitely quitea few crafts here right to make cute little turkeys and things. I love thehand, Turkey. Let's Talk N, let's Pausus talk about thinks, let's pauseand talk about Thanksgiving crafts here for a moment, because I feel like everyone of our kids has had the same craft. The Turkey decoration teacher, printeout a copy of a Turkey sends it home and the kids have to decorate it. Ifeel like ith, the parents yeah well not this year, so the first couple ofyears when adty and Penelabe were going through this assignment, we went allout yeah fun. We had some good Turkeys. We had an Obama, Turkey, which wasbeautifully done Turkey. We had a trump Turkey. That was a goodone 'cause. We found some that looked just like hair ca, just use O hos ancolored and orange. It was amazing and we called it. Donald trup, trup, stick trumin, drunkdrumstick, trumped outout upset one and O of like that. Maybe there's a pictureof floating around somewhere. I think we we, we should probably post those Um,but we had a lot of fun with those as parents. This year, when the twins camehome, withhat assignment and kindergarten were like mmhere's, somemarkers and bat have out it H. Well, I tried to convince him. I was like Geejhow about, if you make a Turkey that looks like well, and we could PR, theywere not having it. Shewas like I want mine to look like a butterfly, and Ijust didn't want cause yeah. We had...

...some good ideas to do interesting ones,but the nice thing is, they will probably get that assignment again nextyear and it'll be an obdaunity to try to get them Hanexalingor. Just sheknows her mind. I think she'll have an idea. What she wants to do and they'llbe no convincin. Even if she wants a butterfly, we can coax her into lettinghis help a little bit more 'cause. Really this is a project. It's a family,Turkey, decorating assignment, wh whanever, is says family. It's likeparents go all out, that's what it's saying so, but theree. There are a lot thatyou know: beon Um, Thanksgiving crafts, one I really liked Um was. It wassuggesting that everyone writes notes, kind of like a card with something thatyou're thankful for and then the whole month of November. You pull one out atdinnertime every night and talk about it. You know and someone could sharewhat theyr think ovore. So, instead of just like okay Thanksgiving dinner,everybody says something like why not the whole month like let's talk aboutsome of the things or a suing that families always eat dinner together orhave like a formal meal time, and we not that we don't. But it's not well.You know you can find another time to do it F. it's like once a wee on time.Yeah want to one doer at least once a week, ext Geteeltax to our family actto our family sit around the table with our phones describing what we'rethankful for right. Exactly so um there there were some other good ones. Um Onewas to do this candy corn game, where you, everyone gets five candy corns andwhen you do a family activity for each candy corn, you talk about somethingthat you're thankful for right, so just kind of another way to share things.You're thankful for kind of make it a game for kid. No, I'm going to pauseright here because candycorn this is a very devisive. I Hate Candy Clandy,it's disgusting! You either love it or you hate. You know I do like it if youeat it with peanuts and it tastes like a pay day. Heanyar Yeabati used to dothat back when I was teaching I'd, get candycorn mix it with some peanuts andit's like perfect afternoon, snack candycorn's, okay, but you know it'sreally grosser those Pumpgun Humpkin wides, O o. even do that, oh I don't kno judgment for anyone out there who's. He Fan. I don't like it. It's like thePumpkin, candy, corn and th the wax t vampire lips or teeth mm yeah. I don'tDon' undersnd just stop so here's another one. I've seen people do, whichalways I really like it. So there's like a tree at their house, however,they set it up on the wall or a free standing tree and then on the leaves.Everyone is writing notes of what they're thinkful for and they display'em on the tree. So they're there for everyone to read, and then you can talkabout it and the I've seen some really pretty ones. That's like that idea, except that I am alittle bit opposed to to too many there's a reality. You've never done.This call is Super Anti Anni Holyd, Holly Hollywood holiday Rollywood isthe worst, so we don't really have holiday decorations, but I've seenthese will do at Christmas time. I'm jumping tegun a little bit, but we'lldo a wreath. We'll do you know some lighted trees, a couple of lightedtrees on the outside of our house, but...

I I'm not a huge fan of indoordecoration, so yeah no tree, no, no thankful tree in our Hme yeah therewas.Another good one was M to go on like nature walks and have the kids collectsome. You know fall foliage or pine cones, or something interesting likethat and Create Nature Mondallas. So you pronounce that Mendalla, I nosothey like you, put all of the materials in a pile sorting by color and texture,and then you make circles by color gradients, and then you make this yeah,like you know, tthemondollars that people like color, where it's just likea interesting, almost like what would be at in a kaleidoscope but the oh, butyou do it with like nature materials that make really cool ones. I like thatI mean it's, you know it's fun to get out in nature, go on a walk and thenhave a purpose for the kids, get them a little more engaged. And then you endup with this fun craft. You can display in your house very you love that fun Craft Tha. The kids are just goingto tape on the wall in their bedroom. Our Kids Ol well just tape stuff to thewall. It's colds pet peeve, taping things to the wall, I'm I'm a littlebit of an eat freak and we need to do more of the like a string. That's hungand they could clip it sure that would be good Y. AH and et' stop tapingthings of their walls. You know, speaking of that nature, walk. Can I tell this story? I've, no idea ofwhat story you're. Thinking about what I about what I found this morning, I o,Oh, oh yeah, was't, had nothing to do with a nature: Walk N! I was J S.thinthat was a stretch that segua. If we took our kids on a nature, walk thisMorn what we would have found. I have a rat trap in the park behind yourtrapper. Theneighboa was my shob. Oh, I didn't know that yeah we caught a rat like a roof rat Yeahi was the wholetime you were talking about. The nature. Nature Walk Modolla Ala. I was thinking Huh. How would a rat tieinto that because he really wanted to bring up the rattle a little over TAThair it w? I thought it was the neighbors,so it's you that didn't check our trap for some? Oh, yes, I don't genter awhile yeah yeah. Don't I won't describe too muchwhat I saw. 'cause people are going to be eating things, two things that Iprobably would prefer to have not brought up McDonalds and the rat. Iedited it out the second time I brought a mcdoald. I appreciate that so atleast there's only two mentions at McDonalds. No just one there's ain't, ateck o know see you about it: Onthe Dayandi, the Sendone, Huh, H boy. I Itried pausing and asking I said: Is it okay, Cantell Hei story, I'm okay withhe y Kno? No shame over here, like twasn't in our yard. It was in the parkbehind our yard yeah. That makes it better like it KINDOF. We still haverats. No, we don't. I mean there are rats. There was in the Barat in thepark behind our backyard, but that rat is no longer there. That's true and sonOly One someone walked out to me and they were like. You know what there'vegot to be so many rats in this world.

What what makes you think you can havean impact or make a difference on the rap population, and I owend up the tratand I held it in the guy's face, and I said I made a difference with that oneand there's no way our a touchin that rat there a while yeah. Okay, let'splay a game, so I gave you a book at Tej. I I have a book as well. Thisone's called the greatest presidential storis, never told random books in colsoffice. Yes, and is what we're going to do? What's yours called mine is calledso now. You know a compendium of completely uselessinformation okaylike, something my dad would enjoy I'll go first. Soo I'dprobably give you that book. I bet it's a great book, I'm going to go. First,I'm going to open at random and the first word my eyes fall upon. I have todescribe that word and get you to say it. Okay and then you're going to dethe same thing and we'll see you know, whoever gets it faster: okay, okay,ready! Oh okay! This is you just got punchedin the Gut. This is a horse drawn thirin wheels. Oh yeah done. Okay, othetoo easy. Did you you didn't even laugh, youdidn't even it didn't even phaze you when I said you just got punched of it'cause you made this sound. You were like. Oh, I didn't even hear what yousaid. I was so busy thinking s car. I had punched in the Gut because my firstmy first thought was like a baby carriage and I'm imagining like a pram,and so I went t and then it was like no it'll be easier to describe te AestronCA. Now I'm going to go AP YEP and I'm going to find the first word that I yes, you just got Punchdino. This is a name,so it doesn't count. This is a candy. That's found in the center of a pop toZerol Yeah Lole popsicltha'd be pretty gross ipossible with Tuxerol in theMiddle Lt. let's try again onmine 'cause. Itwas a nickname okayright on. I E'll see her hopsticle, oh okay, so this is a word. Typically,you'll watch a commercial on T V, that's like about toothbaste, and itsays nine out of ten donters recommend recommend recommend a good way to getrecommend yeah. It also helps that the the sentence as dentists haverecommended story. The idea here look. This is actually real. Interesting dentists have recommended storing atoothbrush at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid contact with airborneparticles. RESONOURS are Sixtie oaway from we have the little separate roomthat H Oilin in it. So that's good, never thought about that that a fleshwould send airborne particles. I always closed the toilet entirely before Iflush. Don't you oh yeah, yeah 'cause yeah. The airborne part of this is this.Conversation has turned into quite the I here, the th, the reason the wordtotsy popped: u either Waytitsi rolls were introduced in Eighteen, Ninety sixby Leo Hirshfield. He named them after his daughter whose nickname was detsebeatrice... was. I wonder, w what a real namewas: Allri Iteadori, happy Thanksgiving everyone have a fun and safeThanksgiving ar so thankful. Hopefully, you got some ideas from this episode ofsome things that you can do with your family to to spark some traditions and,if not get a black Friday shopping. There's always that see it next time that but see next ten e, let's say byebye and it's like no, letm I'll. Let you say it see an exce.

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