Accidental Parenting
Accidental Parenting

Episode 7 · 1 year ago

S02E07: Bilingual Parenting


Heather Koziol of The Future is Bilingual podcast joins Aubrey to discuss raising bilingual kids. She and her husband are raising their children speaking both Polish and English, and she shares advice for anyone wanting to help children develop a love for language learning.

I everyone welcome to another episodeof Accdent in apparenting and we have a special guest today heather. I have noidea how to pronounce your last name, I'm in a gas. Is it coziol? No, not enteverybody. Well, it's close, but that's what everybody says. How O youpronounced? It's more Kosho, so ie told people it rangs with Mojo all right, Icanjela Hap Coe, show so ingi rm, it's Polish, my husband, fulish Gotcha. Iremember that now, Heatherand I met in a speak, easy online. We did aconference together with e women in language conference and they had thesebreakout sessions of and ors was Spanish that we did together right orwas it French? Why did Weli French? Okay, I couldn't remember, I didSpanish and French and we met in the French one, that's right and yeah. Thisis going to be exciting because eather has raised her children bilingual,which is something that I is wanted to do is yes, oasing they're little hethermiddle still is raising her children mabiwuel and I wanted to but didn't-and I have regrets so this will be good. I'm excited to M pick your break 'cause,it's really not too late. My youngest are six and I is Yo. That's not toolate, not too late. No, no, not at all soexited to talk about that. But firstyou know everyone out. There anyway knows that we like to begin interviewswith awkwardly personal questions. Did you pick en? I gave you a coupleoptions. Yes, knowone of these. Are you willing to a Shar? It was kind ofSTRESSFULN aady above Yeh I picked the, which habit. Would I like to break o?That was the one that most easily um came to mind like Io grost food likeI'm, not a very adventurous eater thensgochi'm not going to be a goodanswer. F. So what habit? Would you like to break? Oh so many um well they're all intertwine so likegoing to bed late eating food after ten PM, not sleeping enough being crankyyelling at my kids, like it's all, like wo related. It's just cycle that I justso true teeling every single night and my husband and I keep saying we'regoing to go to bed by ten and we just never do and then we look at each other.We like it's eleven, let's go pressure case and then, by the time we're likepassed out it's midnight and I was telling obe earlier my kids wake up atsix usually and they were up at five. So I just I'm not getting enough sleepand yeah any parents at there of young kids, Oh yeah, you're, not alone. I aman eltame situation, a d like I'll plan, and now I have to get up early, I'mplanning and going to bed early enough and then I just don't and often thesame thing I'll. Even if I get home a little bit late in like nine or tenI'll, still like watch a show and then probably eat something and like ohmancereal sounds good and, oh, my God, that's my go too. Every night it Canilife all this house, cereal 'cause. It's easy and Lotall like I'm a littlebit hungry and yeah, it's Ni, waito, bright or can't y go to bed right away.Yeah I can't go to bedliht. I can't put myself: I bed 'cause, I'm digesting fora bit so that we stay out and we're not even like. Sometimes we watch shows,but recently, like we've, just been doing a bunch of applications andthings. My husband just became a citizen, so he was working on that yeah and I'm applying to PhD program.So I'm ceratlyeast doing productive things, I'm just watching it. LEX Yehwe,Beno, productive, but like I'd rather be like snuggling on the couch andwatching ut Ike. So I you know times employ foe different, but we end teOelias. The next day is really the problem, because then I'm like shorttempered with my kids or just like everything's, going wrong, because Ididn't get in Osleep yeah, and I know it. I'm like blaming myself as I likemake coffee and I'm not a coffee drinker, but like I've taken to itrecently 'cause I'm my imus not going to make itthrough this day, home alone, with kids for eleven hours. What ages are our kids? My kids are oneand a half and three he'll be three and a half in December in the trenches deep, deep in world war. Three, Igesgray. So it's so hard know. Mine are...

...a little older, now n the're in school.At last it go all break in their home, which it's just so hard when they'rehome, especially if you're working from home, it's really advocal, are they inschool or are they home? They are they've, started in person school just a couple of weeks ago, so theywere homeasking for Falbreake, but they've been in school. For a couple ofweeks, yeah online school was terrible. It was horrible. It was what I firrecalldespecially it'd, be one thing if I weren't working and I could devote allmy time to making sure they're doing all the things, but now I'm trying torecord at home and it makes it really hard yeah. You literally can't getanything done with children around exactly. I don't think it gets easier.Mine are still young but yeah. It doesn't really get AGOL nosorry. Totell you that I mean it. Might it Mikht in certain ways in certain ways another ways: it gets harder. B'cause then they're teenagers and you have allof that fun Doa. While I taught high school, so I'm very e, no teenagers butM. I'm just glad my kids are not in school. The only gown thing downsidewas, my son was set to start preschool in March, so the end of March. He waseligible. He would have been two and nine months and two weeks beforecovetit, so just ketting ofher heand. She knew about the school we hadvisited the school ECAS I had and he was like my school like this is thename of it and you know it's so far away, even though it's like ten minutesin the car Y. AH, he was all excited and they just cancelled. Everythingthey said were not to ing pre school at all. They did online, but she was noteven three, so he could barely sait stile, no fiand plus he didn't knowanybody. It's not like. He had been going with these same kids and knewtheir faces. I can't imagine it online preschool.The first grade was word enough: ASASTER AASTER UM I mean it was nice.We wereusing it as like an introduction for more English, so my familyobviously speaks Englosh, I'm a native English speaker, but we were like Ohthisill, be good for him to get interactiong with kids, so that wasgood 'cause. She was doing the weather and all those kind of day, the days ofthe week and that stuff that you do in preschool, but yeah. I would have dustbeen better in person and then they did open Um this fall, but I was like I'mnot going to pay and get everybody sick and then feel like a horrible look. Idon't need it. I'm home rigts. I have a littler one and I'm just paying for himto be socializing, which is not the priority and I wouldn't have free timeanyway. I still have my daughter, so he would only be going like six hours aweek. So I was like. Is that even worse? Yes, we just. I was like no I'm goingto pull him out yeah. That makes sense. I was unfortunate, okay! Well I'm goingto introduce you by making a few assumptions and then just correct me.If I'm wrong L, I probably will be wrong. Soi migti'm, going to guess thatyou were born in Boston Massachusetts, not fire, Springfield, Mass Sai, Al!That's actually really close, and I did not know that about you. So that'sapresmhmtherestings are probably not going to be as close Um all right. Ithink that you have been to seven countries little bit more, a twelve, oh nace. Alot more well, I had to write to write them down to car like out now 's likehow many have actually I've been to Yahonce. You hit Europe and you're onthe trains like the number goes up, and you ha really think about it to be ableto K it. I never did that big European tour that a lot of people do. No. Sowhat and wore long the timue you've been to a rigt. Let me get my notes. Ican remember if you've got or um the first one I went to was Belgium and Idid volunteer work when I was sixteen and we also travelled. I went to theNetherlands and we we went quickly until Tein France. I guess that coule,the first TI account o back to Franceye, so I went bak difference Um, so Francehi studied abroad and lived there for three years, Spain. I visited my friendwho was abroad, Poland, that's where my husband's from sowe visited twice:...

Israel, Greece, Mexico, Costa Rica,Japan and South Africa, NICALSONOBAC tels, Carin, South Africa, so Kagocha.We went and visited my aunt and she did the whole toler. She just took USeverywhere for two weeks. It was amazing. My school took me to Japan, sothat was really great, so high school that I worked at had a trip. That's agood sigway to the next one 'cause, I'm GIN, a guess: Your High School Mascot. Let's see I'm Gong to guess it was ahoney bee. No, it was a spartan warrior. That'svery similar to mine was a Trojan like a Greek, Drojan or a Roman Trojan. Iguess yes, similar ver our ours would not have gotten along now, O your colors Maroon and gold. Okay, wewere grey and red wasnonugly, not great okay, first job, your firstjob was at the city library. I would have loved that now it would bea great job yea that sounds peaceful. An like that's, like my dream job. No,I was scooping ice cream at Friendlis. That's fun too, though, like ' like asit down fast food for parents and like yeah for Familis, like they give youcrans- and I don't know Nice Awesome. Well, that's what I thought it wasfunny 'cause I was thinking thrifty or thifties or whatever it is. Butfriendly is that's different. So it's almost like a little diner that had icecram, yeah they'rlike, I don't know if there exists in other parts of thecountry. No, I don't it sounds familiar, but I dont like family family dining, Ithink, is what they call it so like you can bring your kids and not feelhorrible. If theu're like something up and down and right, you go there andkids are going to be screaming and you know that's what you're signing up foryes, okay! So let's get talking about thisUm, so you you also have a Plod gas correct. Do you? Is it just apiguest?Do you have like a language business? I'm not sure exactly what all you, whatall that ye? So No! I just started it less than a year ago, Gran Si lastNovember just more like a passion project atthis point. So not really business related. U, with my hosting site anchor,I mak like a very minimal, like fifteen cents, I'll, listen or something atniht.reliculessly, small, or maybe it cad last, it's like fivecents, but anyway, so it's not a business. I wouldn't call it a businessM, but it just it's m. The idea came from a podcast that is in French, it'scalled Beice and it's this woman Knamaltin and she interviews all theseMOMS like she'll, do one mom per episode and the mom goes through likeher pregnancy in her birth story, and I was listening to them when I waspregnant and having kids in it. You know I recently had my kids, so it's not as interesting to meanymore, but that's that planted the seet in my mind that, like thesepersonal family kind of stories like I could you know, could I find somethinglike this for bilingual parents and there wasn't that many? I looked up.You know what kind of Pacass are ther for ilingol parents and there's a few,but not a ton, and none that were like here is one person's personal story, ad. So that's really. What I wanted to do is- and I know a bunch of parents that areraising their kids bi angually. We have a bunch of friends, Um bettare fromPoland and just people from my different travels and living abroad and,like there's, got to be people out there, I' man, facebook groups for bi,egl parents, not native speaking parents, a there's, a lot of groups solike we exist. We may not be a big group, but we're definitely out there,but we're just kind o like spread in all these different countries. R. I waslike if I can interview these people Um. My kids are very young still, and youknow a year ago they were even younger, so I wanted to learn. How did they doit? You know what successis what things worked? I know SCHOOLG is going to be not anissue, but it's definitely GOINGTA like make them use the majority language,the community language. More a like.

You have to kind of balance if you'retrying to Keek a minority language. I just I know like I foresee theseproblems and I wanta care from other people Gagia and your progest is calledthe future as Bilinguo right so you're interviewing other bilingual parentsabout sort of how they do it, what works for them yeah and I have openedit um I've emailed just people who are wriingell. My first interview was withone of my students who was raised by Linguilli, so she's, not a parent. Yetshe was one of my high school students, but she grew up a Lengualy. So I justkind of like brought in the idea to include anyone who you know. Useus twolanguages grew up it two languages. You know myself, I didn't grow up bylingually, but now I speak more than you know two languages. So I justanybody. That's in that kind of BNIN Gold, world ist hearing their story. 'causeeverybody has learned their languages, so differently, perdirs and I just find it fascinating. So it'smore M Yeah ntevering biting gold people and then I did have a couple ofsolo episodes because I was just you know it was new, so I didn't reallyhave anybody that was interested in being a guest. So I would just recordsome interview: Uin Solo episodes of myself about different topics, and nowI have a friend Whois, very interested in linguistics and he is a Greek Cohost MSO rather than just me, speeing information, the two of US kind of goback and forth about things, often yeh. So definitely you guys check thatoutright you're on APPPA gass. I assume pot vassitur perfect the future asbilingual, especially if you are considering teaching children, alanguage young right or trying to raise them Bylingualli for sure. So you you,we Hovar, like all ages, cause Yo Kno. Some people have said like Wel, I din'tlearn Rah later or I moved to this country. When I was M, you know a teenor younger or older, so it kind of I haven't. The idea was limited at first,but now it's really broad gosh. I it can work titles in any age, yeah rigtand we try and encourage you know, usually by the end my guest is sayingsome encouraging words and I'm saying yes, you know, even if you haven'tstarted, you know, like you were saying with your six year old like you can doit? U Know it's going to be tricky, but don't give up. You know hear somestrategies that you can use awesome yeahsweet, so you tell me how it workswith you at home. Like do you speak English with your kids and your husbandspeaks Polish or r? What's your system, so I met my husband Heson, the videoI'm. So I met my husband fourteen years ago and I was already interested inFrench and Spanish and Um. I just the second day I was like. I want to learnPolish. I had not really known anything about it before M, so I I've beenlearning it for fourteen years, um so intermediate. I would say it's kind ofa tricky language, but we I am home with them all day, andI speak Polish with them all day. The only times we use English is when mymom or dad comes to visit, or for with my friends let speak English. So sometimes we haveplaygroups with my polishrends and everybody seeks Polish and sometimeswe'll have my English friends over I' will speak it Bush so, but we we do um,what's called minority language at home. So for us, that's Polish! So always inthe house Um we speak most y Polish, my husband and I sometimes have a badhabit of saying things to each other in English, but my kids are definitely more Polishspeaking and their englishs is weaker, which is why I wanted to sign my son upfor that free school and get him more exposio. He is a little bit strongerthan my daughter 'cause. He was in daycare and I didn't become a stayeahome parent until my daughter was born I a year and a half ago, so he was inEnglish speaking daycare. He was with my mother, who speaks English, so hisEnglish. As he understands a lot, he can say a lot. My daughter is like very,very limited. She's still young, though she's still at right. She Um she wouldn't bespeaking any language very well she's one and a half she's one in Ha Tut. Shehas three word sentences and Sheo W.

She walked early. We dislideded hervideos. She walked to eight and a half months and by fourteen months she hadlike twenty words like she was just fairly for a lot of things. I don'tknow if it was like big brother influencing she wanted to keep up, but she's I mean she comes up with herown ideas and she asks all these sorts of questions so when, if m, so they don't yet havefriends outside of the home their age or do then like? How does that work? Ifthat friend speaks English, are they able to communicate well yeah? So theirfriends are basically my mom friends as kids Um. That's how it is at that age foreveryone, Oh yeah, which is great s, aks my needs perfectly, but um they cancommunicate a little bit. But I think my son said the older one who' almostthree and a half. He definitely will listen more to like what the kids are.Saying. Um, you know is English. It's not perfect, like he'll definitely makemistakes in like like what does he say, anthing of an example Um, it's just more basic like I want that,like he might not knove the word for like shovel and English paclic. Hedefinitely knows, but in Polish, but he'll say like I want that and then thekit'll be like shovel. It's like. I want shovel else. There's! No! Now there's noarticles in front or in Polish she'll he'll just say I want shovel. I wantdrinks, I want Goshs h. You know, there's like little things that hestill has toimprove on, but we don't know. I barely correct him 'cause we'renot speaking English together. So I ju Kino. Let him listen to the other kids. I don't know they don't interact thatmuch at this age. Yet well a D. They don't speak that Ri. I took my kids atthe park yesterday and they played with these kids B. Hardly said a word tothem. Y. U Know is kind of like yourself. They just play. They don'tlike have one conversation, so they're not having yea, like you said, any deepconversations, hore just kind of playing near each other, watching whateach other's doing and then like reenacting it but they'll. Definitelylike pick up phrases like I think the kids are playing in the dirt. ND E umbraking up leaves afd stuff and heas sang a grab. Grab 'cause, like theother kids, are saying grand. I don't know Um so yeah, I that's, it would benice for him to have more attractionit's been hard, turing coved,so his English as Gotin Waker for sure Gotcha, so yeah Cova CR, has createdits own challenges. That way, because normally you you would be able to bearound other more kids and he'd be in preschool learning, because that's sortof the assumption, then, is that he will learn English through because helives in an English speaking country and just so Amersion Yep and we'relucky that M. my family, like half of our family, is English speaking. Sowhenever my parents come over, it's all English m. When my sister comes tovisit, which is more rare, it's all English but yeah we used to doplaygroups at the library, so th there used to be a lot more interaction thathe would at least hear English and story times and music hours. And soit's been. It's been a bit of an adjustment and I've considered addingmore English Um. What I do do is I read in English, because I've gotten reallytired of trying to translate and there's books that just sound so goodbecause they're meant to be. You know, there's a certain cadence and therhythm and the whiming, and I just don't have the patience to tr. Also myPolis is intermediate, I'm not as advanced as I am Inferma and so far,while you were translating books when you read them and then yes, becauseWele they were so little, the books were just like cat hog. You know justbi Ikin Trendla like ths s. This is easy. Yes, that was all you knowgood and mydaughter still has those books out. So you know we'll do that and he'll readto her and tell her whatinare. It's sweet but when the stories get morecomplicated- and I do I just appreciate th the language, so I I don't mind reading to him inEnglish, sometimes I'll ask him: Do you want this in English? Earn Polish? Istarted doing more French with them, so I aske him which of the three? U andsometimes you know the other night to go to bed like, I was wading to him onebook in French one book in English Um,... I just give him the choice. Now,'cause he's definitely more corgnizant like Oh, this Granma speaks EnglishWyeah, that's that's thegri, thats, nes, English Um, so yeah certain it just depends on thebook, but I do not mind. Deunal we're not totally English street because we have most ofour books are English. We listen. I listen to the Rader, I like to listen nPR, Um and also just sometimes music, but I I try and do most music in Polishand French Ajan. So what advice would you have F R? Someone in my situation,like I amfluent in French, I'm intermediate Spanish, but I because English is my mother LN.Both of Ourm my husband, I'm my first language, it's very it feels forced tospeak in an language much to my children, and I wouldn't choose to dothat all the time. If, if my husband did have a differentfirst language, then I could see that definitely being something that wewould have done m. But what do you think as far as um trying to givechildren an opportunity to learn language? Your second language earlierthan like high school or whenever they're, going to start actual classesright, yeah, N Thatis? Definitely not too late. I wouldn't say you can notlearn 'cause. I, when I start ot, be exact. There's it's not an impossiblefate, but it just they'll have a better ear. Hey'll have a better sense of thelanguage if they can hear it earlier um I mean the easiest. Things are music Um,because everybody likes music and music is catchy, and it's repetitive andoften you know, they'll repeat it to themselves, like my kids will sing itto themselves as they're playing if we had just listen to some French songs,for example, and that they don't know what the heckthey're saying 'cause were on. I met to ask you that for socially like have youtaught them for it, because you speak also French and Spanish. Do you? Do you worry that we'll confuse them tohave multiple other languages, or do you also expose them to those languages?It was a big question. I always knew my husband that we would to Polish. Atleast he would do Polish, so we knew they'd, beatly, Spiin Gal, and then Iwas considering doing French and I tried it with my a sonone who's, a baby,and it wasn't as natural for me which it's weird my French um is much better,but it's academic. You know I always lane in school, and I've got all mydegrees in French and I've always just been. You know, reading literature anddoing that sort of stuff, but I wasn't around children when I was in France. Iwas around students and my friends who were my age and theire homes which had theirparents, but it wasn't. There were never kids. I just wasn't in mytwenties the groups of people I was hanging out with, whereas Polish myhusband has a big Catholic family, holish, cator family and there werealways kids around. Even he has a younger brother. That was five when Imet him, so you know younger child and then his older sister had a baby themonth before I met him, so there was literally always a baby and they livedin the same house. So I'm just so familiar with the way you speak to ababy. The words you use, you know, there's all sorts of specific Glo cabin every language like baby, Talp and things that are just it's specific anyou know. I could look up the words for like Coush for a diaper it just itwasn't as natural for me and also wasn't probably similar to like. Idon't have a French speaking community. Unfortunately, I had my students and Ihad my co colleagues. That y were also teaching French, but I didn't have therest of it: The family, the friends which we knew in Polish, so that Soufigure ne difference to be like. I should really focus on Polish, but I dowant to do French now. I see that they both have strong, you know knowledge of Polish and they canexpress themselves so um, I'm forgetting what the originalquestion is. Now, I'm just oo that that alone gives me Um, not hope, but likeit pushes me right. 'CAUSE, like you...

...were talking about music, but just toto to have the even the desire like I've always had the desire, but I themotivation more because it's a lot of work. It's like you were saying likethere would be a lot of words I wouldn't know. I would need to look upI, but it really does push me because youforget how much easier it is for kids to pick it up. They're like spongeswith language and t to give them that leg up with the ear. I have older kidsthat I really regret. Not You know, speaking in French, some with them orhelping having them, listen to music and give them that foundation that when they're young and it's easier, I II really want to push myself to do that. For my younger children, it is amazing,like my daughter's in the parrot stage, where she'll just repeat any word. Itdoesn't matter what language like I've done, do Wellingo next to her and itwasnarian and she was repeating Korean, because whenever she heard she wouldliterally repeat which is you know that is like the oneand a half is like such an ideal stage. But even you know, my son will still dothat. He'll still repeat words, and I think even you know a six year old. Ithink if you you'd have to be more strategic in what they enjoy. So ifit's a t V movie songs, something that's goingto catch their interest, I'm sure there's less abouts like I haven't evengone down that road ecause. My kids are little but like games and things likethat and andthen Eon'l be enjoyable. It needs to be SOM very enjoyable. LikDon't be like we're going to do this work sheet, or you know, th Vedical,French, we're going to do it dik day, I'm going to dictate this and you'regoing to write it. No, no! That's not what I think US doing o Oto back fire.What I would say for parents that have't started like you and want to.You know: Don't bite off more than you can shew like when my kids grew little.It didn't matter that were so little. It was more just me talking to them,but if you can just do like half an hour like we're going to play this game,we're going to try to play this game in French Um, just something really basic,and even if they only learn like thethree words from that game Um, evenjust like those really common expressions like I just started sayingto my kids one day like Oniva like let's go and o'll just be like OylaWenyo about t and like context like something that you can do likephysically moving um to give them that sort of context or like if they're intobaking, you know, start baking a French recipe and like yo you're, already aspeaker SOS you can pull it out and like show them how some of these wordsare similar. You Know Su Club. KINDOF looks like a shiver Um. Can we figureout what we need? You know. Ok, we can't figure out satin. You know likeKindof like played down with them, like I don't know what that, what what else?Woe we need for pancakes? You know with half oil we have this Olit's, probablyslouer no had a good idea, something thatwould interest them because definitely older kids have their own opinions. Sowhen they're little you have the advantage that you just kind of stewthe ship and do whatever and they're just a baby, and we lay there m and youhave more time to dislike, like I was just like you know, trying to get my myvo cab up and like learning words. Then he wanted O no truck. I was like allWat. I truck, I don't know, let's look it up, but you don't m, you don't have to bean expert. You can say to your kids, you know, I don't know the word forasteam roller. Let's look it up. How do we look up things that we don't know otat the dictionary now it's online, but you know the same idea m know: I'm nota walking dictionary. So I'll tell you and the same thing like I just alwayssay it has to be fun, so everybody ever parent knows their kid best. Um. I can't even imagine, since mine areyoung like they don't really have too much of a personality. Besides, I crazyso ill have to see when they theycometheir own little people, yea Ha older cwhatever. They enjoy. You know and itt like a game whand. It comes with instruction, just anything yeah. No,that's really smart, too 'cause yeah with my kids, where their six, theyounger ones yeah they just they just want to spendtime with me and they're happy whenever we're doing so, they would definitelybe up for that. If it's a game or a song or something fun, they wouldn'tcare what language it is and they'd be...

...excited it'd, be something fun anddifferent too. I know thatis my k anyway. Yeah we're going to learn. Youknow together and you know, if you don't understand it's okay, you know.Sometimes I don't understand and Yah figure it out together andthere'sor. Just you know like there could be cultural things that theymight want to look up like the Um, the carnival that happens in Quebec. I knowmy students were like obsessed with the BONOM. I don't know if you've ever seen,bonum that comes out for the carnival. Yes just it could be like really silly,like o n w. What is this holiday so with French, I did French cub at thehigh school and we were just whatever was on the calendar like all right.This second of February, we're going to make our cripts for Um was that holidaycalled Bachan Delau Um, so you know just something enjoable, you know ifit's French cuisine, IFIT's somesilly game, if it's music, I'm sure fe'regetting most of other things, but oh yeah, that's and I have done s when mymy older kids were littler. I would I do sometimes songs or I had a few booksthat were bilingual. They were infrenging in English and so I'd readthat I just never stuck to it enough right. I need to like make a plan and something that I can actually stick to.So it's not just like a one time thing, so I can actually like give them a lovefor the language and and more words than Um Yeah. So that's a good idea. Igotta I got to get onto like Fan, Saf Friday or something there. You go getFriday, nighten something culking Rom. So you know our priguess is called H,accodel barrenting, and we talk about about the winds and fails of parentingas we figure it out. You know as we go along. Can you share with us a recenteither win or fail that you had as a parent? All right, I plan to fail, so I guessI'll talk about it. Yes, R, sometimes more entertaining in. Definitely nobodywants to hear I mean my win. would be my kids speak the minority language. Ilov you win Chechackon, but fail I mean so many well is simomy first thenegetting angry. I just always feel like a terrible parent. I scream Um. Sothat's not good. You know we want to t and avoid that. But another fail is. Ihad my son and I was still working and then I had my daughter and I decided tostay home because making teacher paid oes not cover two kids in daycare, at least notin Massachusetts, nor I no yeah. This is not worth me. Working to make ahundred dollars a week, so I stayed home and I just feel like we justfailed, like I'm still breastfeeding her she's like twenty months old. Whenis like, I don't know just things that like I was like. Why didn't we get hersleep better? I ' I just feel like. We should have known better with thesecond, but their whole, like situation of being a baby was different, becauseI was waking him up. It's sextirity to get to school um by seven and you Kn W.I would let them sleep in now, but she wakes up at five, thirty and like why.Why couldn't you have the ose baby, everything's strown out f the window,as you have too, because you no longer can just do everything according to thebaby's schedule. You now have another child that is noisy in running aroundor you have o do things for them and so forget it just doesn't. It doesn'thappen to just bean like Oh everything's, according to the baby'sSketchel Sre, I just ye many yeah. Many things happen with tha second, but Ijust feel like we. I don't know we just shouldn't know better for like sleepingand breastcuding and all these bad habits I ed haven't been able to breakum that'slike. You do feel o an baby like,oh think it s can be perfect, because we've done this once we know what we'redoing everything and then no not nothing an ther, Tlan, they're, totallyilegitiable. Exactly then it'slike all different parenting. You need alldifferent advice, you an all experimental again mhm yeah, if I hadknown like and we had them close together and itcan be good and it can be bad. So your fail really is saying we should haveknown. We should have known better or thinking like when Yore Ao I'll knowthat Ili typical, that's like my typical, like Oh yeah, I've goteverything all set and then the day...

...five Ou, you know a couple of hoursbefore the party, I'm like. Oh my gift it Werk card. You know that's like justhow I rolle like I think I've found it all organized and then I reash his amsnile. That's ist. How weall role I got Graca Anbrac, O ere it and every other bomb like you're goingto the party and that they're like Oh yeah, nope. That's how I tell whatt'shappening for all of us. None of us have it alltogether. I know. Definitelyit's not lying ove say we do it's not possible possible. These little peopleare just dictators and y they're a lot. It's right, but it's all worth it just have to ge through the tough timeSright and be okay with not being perfect 'cause. I that's Hene you'd!Really, I think start struggling is, if you feel like you, do have to beperfect and you're, comparing yourself to other parents or your kids to otherkids, then you're going to start the niiling, because it's never going to beit's just not realistic. That is very true. I was more of a perfectionistbefore kids Um, not Ananfectin US hundred percent of the term, but I hadmy tendencies: I'm an Anagram one. If anybody knows any ogroom, um typa yeah, it's a personality test, butanyway some listeners might have heard of it, but Um yeah. I that's just theothe Nowjuste Roll Ith, the punches AFOR Sur, your head out of the water.We have a game to play. We gave at the end an this is funny 'cause. I am alittle rusty on my French. I've been learning Spanish and I've kind of putFrench to the sate a little bit. So what we're going to do is um give eachother words in English and Transfallran. They said give Hem in French O A. Iwant you to give it in English and we have to translate it into French andSpanish o. This is much harder. Okay, O it is w Tayeah Oky, I'm going to give you UM. All of mine are Halloween damed 'cause,it's almost halloween an, and this is a little hint that this one's kind ofeasy Um. My first word is Zombi to go to tellit in Spanish and French zonbiIdon't, say Zonbi Yep, Andoi, O cognate in everylanguage. It's like! Oh just SOMDN, nits great everybody out. There knowshow to se anl be in Spanish, Brenchend, English, very usephone, all right, I'l,first Wi'll, give you an easy one, an mind or not al mean thing. No, no! I'msorry, I'm not that cordinated Halloween's, not my favorite holiday,so go I love Halloween, I'm Alsi, hope Hova doesn't ruin everything and we'renot able to still have fun time. That we'll see I like the dressing up, but I don'tknow I don't like all the gruesome things, ov Ersonal crenes, all right,Ti'll, give you another I'll, give you an easy one: Okayhat, Oh Chapo and someboretto is there another word: Weit SBER N? Yes, there are likere differenttypes of like winter hats, but no that's Goo! That's what I had in mind.I feel like I learned another wod for H, Onduolingo recently, but I can't thinkwhat it was ader all yeah. Maybe that sounds familiar thereis like Eres likethe baseball cat, there's all sorts o, half right. Okay, Hey! I got one! Yournext tred is ghost okay, a Faton IADC MM uh, fantasia nice, yet fantasmaimpressive. I would not have known that in Spenish Fanasthma Wono Hut, Tama, Ididn't, I didn't get articles and I'm terrible in Spanish. I feel it getsless clearer. Usually I think of it ends with an a it's feminine Una, butnot always Walevia ADAMAPA rigt Um Ers, like there is a rule for itbut. I dohave the advantage that I mus divulge is that we would always, when I taughthigh school we'd, always do like a Bingo for Halloween d. It has been youknow, two years, someon ver, not teaching, French or Spanish, or both ookay, Gotcha Yeah, French one through AP and then Spanish one and two oSpanishes as you unsel, O less. But with your Halloween, Bingo you're,nailing all of thes see. I will see how...

...hard it gets. Aright. Okay! What's mynext one, okay, Um yeah, I didn't do like Pars ill just I could pick one orthe other all right. So the word Fort Year, yeah, okay, MHM, Oh Tay, Nice, okay, a soundsimilar! They do luckilyyou're giving me aneasy one UM, which okay, like the one that flies on abroom. My Gosh have't inspanish first, I think,yesn. What is why c? NSOCIA YEP EXAC OIERI vanishd Um. I do like a bitingGol Story Hour on Fascebook live so today was Spanish. So I think that'swhy Spanish S G O Bruha from that I doN'TA. Okay, one more for me: Oh one,more okay, ionly prepared! Three: Did you do likea FI, no yea, but mine aren't like the same. So it's fine M and I also thoughtwe were going from French to English. I was doing a lot harder one. Oh Gotcha,easier, Sayi, Br and play Tan England Y. Like O. I know what that is all right:we'll do um bed mm onlei and Cama incomey. You gave me really easy ones: Ot come but CMA, probably eens an ait's, not Pama, Onoaan Lakama good. To now, yeah I've been doing to Olingopretty religiously. I have a really long streak, but I friend you. I have avery long street. Oh Nice, Yeh fread me I just got back in to it awesome yeah.I did it quite a while ago and then picked it back up B'cause. We weregoing to Mexico and I'm like H. I want to brush up on my Spanish and now I'stuck witth like I am going to. I want to get my Spanish to where my French isI'm pretty fluand. I can chat with anyone and I certainly don't know everyword could ave stumped me probably, but I I want to get my Spanish there towhere I can see anything or want to say and understand it. I can understandmore than I can speak yeah pesure, that's a good gallman! Yes right! Nowill thank you heather. So much for joineasis is really fascinating. It hasreally motivated me. I am going to I don't know about Spanish but I' forsure. I'm going to start with French and then give me Bento, Halloweens BenHalloween, thined. Yes, do Hollo, name, N, Cango and Ho wrong, like that's atwe d we'd have them draw the thing out and draw witch traw.You know I can send you. I have probably the Bwhothey deleted my count.Actually I probably don't have those wel if you're going to sind it Siniceto me. If not, I mean you just do the grid and let them draw the picture,that's even more on right, yeah and then you teach them what the words areand then they do get the reponsition 'cause y. u you would call out like MLasaucie D. they'd have to find it the ballet the broomstick trying to thinkof all the words though, but how to he Bodla botoboin Spanish Libobo, yes,Bekid, no Bombo already ho you see Canbe in Spanish, Lebubo um lost kinometal. I thinkdosay there's a bunch of because it depends on the country, gogos that makes oky. So thank you so much for joining us.This is really fun and Moi Shetser. I love ithead. Thank you or keep me eepme postad how your kids are doing. I will I'm going to give you sat. You canbe my m yeah. I I will these status updates so that I I'm committed on yellowing up O me.That's the ORT I' Ling for I'm accountable to someone. Keep you? U, Ilove to keep you accountibale and I'll. Tell you how my Kans are doing withFriende cause. We we have the same goal, so I also Wan Abr, yet my kids, justBekan Brng, more French yeah and be come up with fun ideas. Let me know,and I'll do the same like din't think goes. Well, you coud besucking tips. Thank you heather. It is really fun. Wit, you later ight, chazyor warchout.

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